Forget No Shave November which brings awareness to prostate cancer and other male-oriented issues, No Nut November supposedly is the more masculine alternative that somehow is supposed to prove one's control and machismo.

But, unlike the month-long journey devoted to a good cause, No Nut November is simply nutty, especially since, ironically, "masturbating helps reduce the chance of prostate cancer."

According to Urban Dictionary, the ridiculous rules to No Nut November generally state that you must abstain from sex or masturbation in any shape or form (yet some players do have sex with their partner). However, watching pornography and getting hard are allowed, but you can't cum. Moreover, only one wet dream is permitted and you've only got one chance to succeed. Good luck, and if you triumph with zero busts, you qualify for Destroy Dick December.

And all along I thought May was National Masturbation Month.

Masturbation is not only pleasurable but healthy and quite common for men of all ages. According to FiveThirtyEight, "when men in their 30s were asked whether they had masturbated alone at any point in their life, 93.4 percent said yes." This shouldn't be shocking. As we lose the stigma around sex and sexuality, masturbation must be included. It's normal and no sexually viable man needs to deprive himself of this orgasmic diversion during the month of November. It just doesn't make sense.

Also, to the husbands, fiances, boyfriends, fuck buddies, and one-night standers, don't take away your D from the girls!

Guys, you aren't proving your masculinity to anyone. I get it, you're just having fun with your friends, challenging one another, and goofing around, but, I mean, really? This is the most senseless behavior to prove any sort of virility. Masturbation doesn't need to take a holiday. If anything, you should be wanking off more often to represent your robustness. I speak for many other girls when I claim that if anyone of us woke up with a penis, we'd be giving ourselves self-love all day. Be your own best friend and do it for all the jealous girls who wish it was just as easy for them to blow.

Listen, I am no one to tell you when you can entertain your own sexual activities, but I just want to share the idea that cheating yourself of euphoria isn't necessary to boost your testosterone for any advantage.

No, this is not the greatest test of willpower.

I have no personal experience that abstaining from masturbation "clears your mind" and helps with concentration as you "do things you never thought possible," but let's recognize that as hilarious as the memes are, you won't gain any magical powers. I'm sure this challenge requires a great deal of mind control, but this can be accomplished in more practical ways.

I mean, really?

No one's testosterone will be benefited. No gains will be made. No spiritual enlightenment will be found at the end of the month.

If that doesn't persuade you that No Nut November is useless, acknowledge that in our sex-phobic culture we don't need any more societal behaviors that shame the healthy, instinctive act of sex.