We spend a lot of time on the "what ifs". What if I would have stayed in school? What if I had lost the weight? What if I had never met that guy? What if I didn't have faith? These are all theoretical "what ifs," but I guarantee they have been very real to many people. It is human nature to second guess the choices we make. Many of us spend hours (especially if you're a worrier like me) thinking about those "what if" statements, but what about the "what has" statement?
How many times can we say we think about what has? What has dropping out if school led me to become? What has not losing the weight given you? What have you learned from meeting that guy? What has your faith given you? You see, we tend to see the negative situations instead of what positive things has come out of them.
Here's a reality check: you may be asking yourself "what if?" but the person you are today is because of the answer to the "what has" question. As humans, we tend to be our own worst critics. Even those that on the outside look like they think they are perfect, they are probably internally judging themselves the most. So here are some answers to some of those theoretical questions...
Do you want to know what has come out of you having faith? The answer is a sense of yourself. And what I mean by that is you've learned to trust in someone or something else besides yourself. I read in a children's book the other day that having faith is seeing a nest of eggs and knowing they are going to hatch into chicks. It is a sense of peace knowing that any struggle you're going through will be guided by a power much higher than yourself. It's about keeping you humble in the good and protecting your soul in the bad. That is what has come out of you having gained faith: knowing that even in your darkest hours, the situation will work out in the end.
What has come out of you meeting that boy, you may ask. A lesson. Everyone is put into your life for a reason. It may be because they are a blessing to you, they may be a lesson for you, or they may even be both. But stop asking yourself what if you hadn't met that person because they've shaped your life in some way or another.
What has become of you dropping out of school? Well, in reality, school is not for everyone. Some people really lose their sense of self-worth in the process because of how emotionally, physically and even spiritually demanding it is. So yes, while a college degree is great, you did drop out for a reason. Honestly, you're probably happier than most in school are at the moment.
What if I hadn't lost that weight? You know what? You're still the same you. Whether you weigh 200 pounds or 120 pounds, your exterior may change, but your interior will not. Chances are you gained some confidence. Chances also are your bank account is slapping you because you had to buy a new wardrobe. But 30 years down the road, are you really going to look back at your weight loss? Probably not: you're going to look back at the memories you've made along the way.
Although there are all theoretical, the meaning is the same for every potential "what if" question you asked yourself. So stop asking yourself "what if" and start answering your "what haves".