As of today, sorority women of all kinds, on a nightly basis, expect for fraternities to throw pre-games, parties, tailgates, etc., and when said sorority women arrive to said fraternity we also expect said fraternity men to make the first move. It's, basically, culture at this point. Sororities have the beautiful houses on campus where no alcohol is allowed, boys have strict visiting hours, and hold a high standard for appearance. Fraternities have those gross party things they call "hom" where the sloppy drunken nights happen, you go for one-night stands and leave before morning, and have a somewhat comforting frat appeal to it. But what if we lived in a world where sorority and fraternity roles were completely reversed?
What if sororities held the parties?
Imagine if there was a wonderful place called Srat Land where all the boys could run around. Each house was a different party house and had different benefits to separate one another, like Gamma Rho Alpha always has ice luges, or Zeta Eta Pi never runs out of beer, but Delta Beta Theta is just known for having the hottest babes. Now, it would be the job of each sorority to supply alcoholic beverages and have the biggest bangers so the hottest frat boys always came back.
What if fraternities spent hours preparing for a GNO (Guys Night Out)?
Okay, so it's a Friday night and the boys are all ready to go out and get #blackedout and #rage and #partyyyyy. So, obviously, they text the group chat because they definitely have to figure out the details for the night: what sorority house to hit up, what button down to choose, and of course, the most important choice ... vodka or tequila?! They spend hours in the bathroom combing their hair into the exact position, waxing their legs, ironing their expensive vintage button downs, and trying on 20 million different outfits until you finally have your friends approval that you're a hot b***h and are totally gonna be hit on by every girl in the room.
What if sororities courted fraternities?
It's a great tradition that every year while the boys enjoy their dinner prepared by their kitchen girls at the fraternity houses that each sorority comes to the house and sings for them. One by one they perform songs like "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" and "My Humps" and "Baby Got Back" to convince them to be homecoming partners. The sorority girls will bring them expensive gifts like Xboxs, soccer jerseys, top shelf beer, and pizza. While the girls dance all around their beautiful houses, the fraternity men will be sitting at their dining room tables taking snapchats of us to put on their stories, with their fraternity houses geotag as a filter, duh.
What if fraternity guys cared about social media?
Their Instagram bio's obviously include their Greek letters in some type of way, whether they're hipster and go for the sleek approach: "••FSU||ΘΠΓ••" or you just know they're that typical party guy: "FSU ΘΠΓ" or they're just feeling themselves: "FLORIDA STATE ΘΠΓ" and maybe some Bible verses or inspirational quotes thrown in their once in awhile. The first 30 to 45 minutes of every night is dedicated to getting that perfect Insta-worthy picture with the perfect lighting, perfect pose, and the perfect amount of candid to make it just right. But is he really a fraternity boy if he doesn't constantly upload pictures to Facebook to his album named "Old and irrelevant as a Junior." All hail the social media Kings!
What if sorority girls had to always make the first move?
The ladies of Phi Iota Mu are having their yearly rager: "The luck of the PHIrish" and every fraternity boy has had this marked on their calendars for weeks. They plan the perfect green outfit to have a great balance of classy and slutty and head out to the party. The fraternity men walk in as groups and kinda stand around awkwardly because they don't really know anyone and they are waiting to get shots. Well, it's the job of the Phi Iota Mu woman to go up and introduce themselves. The subtle approach where you just say, "Hi, boys, my name's Brittany. You guys look like you need some shots," and continue to bring them to the bar so they can further increasing their alcoholic levels.
Brittany, of course, disappears for a while (introducing herself to everyone else in the room) and makes her way to the first group of guys and starts again. "You guys definitely should be looking like you're having more fun. How about we head up to my apartment, I definitely have better quality liquor we can use to take shots." We can assume how the rest of the night goes.
I know I know, maybe it's a little too unusual, or taboo, to think if the roles were reversed but it's pretty funny to think about it that way. As of right now I am pretty content with how things play out in Greek life. I think we can all agree that things can stay the same for just a little bit longer. The boys can continue with their frat ways, and the beautiful sorority ladies can stick with acting and being treated like the beautiful sorority women we are.
