You all know them. Those lines you've gotten at a bar or a social gathering when someone finds out you ride horses. See how many you can get through without gritting your teeth!
Here are some of my favorites.
1. The horse does all the work, though.
No, not really. Tell that to my legs after a lesson.
2. You wear tight pants? Nice.
Oh just don't. Don't even go there. That's not even an original pickup line. At this point, equestrians don't even care about our pants anymore, covered in dirt and riddled with holes as they are. Until they split a seam, we'll keep wearing them; and our eyes are up here.
3. Why waste so much money on an animal?
That "animal" doubles as a teammate, pet, confidant, and family member. They're vital to the very soul of equestrians. As ridiculous as they may be at times, they're definitely better than people in most situations.
4. You're so obsessed with your horse!
What tipped you off?
5. Your parents must be rich.
Not exactly. Many of us have working student positions that partially pay for the farrier, vet, board, and lease (if applicable) and still have to pay out of pocket to cover the fees. Not to mention the costs of jackets, boots, tack, lessons, and show classes.
6. What else can you ride? (unattractive wink)
I can guarantee you that if you even try this line on an equestrian, they'll let their horse bite you. But I digress... you do you.
7. You're always so dirty.
Being dirty is great! What are you talking about? Sure it's a nuisance when everything you own is covered with hair and dirt, but you get to take the smell of your horse and your barn home with you, which is aromatherapy in-and-of-itself.
8. You smell like a barn.
Thank you! I gave up perfume a long time ago. Can you tell?
9. Why do you spend so much time out there (at the barn)?
Because there's a lot to be done. Taking care of the horses, riding, self improvement, supporting others, watching other lessons to learn from them, hanging out with birds of a feather; the list goes on. And besides, after we buy all that expensive stuff of course we're going to put it to good use!
10. Horses weren't meant to be ridden! It's barbaric!
There are people who abusively school and ride their horses, but most riders aren't like that. And besides, if a horse didn't want you on their back, you'd know. You'd be on the ground before you could yelp "giddyup." I can't speak for everyone, but every equestrian I've ever met reveres and treasures their horse and would never willingly cause them pain, make them bleed, etc. We're very in-tune with the horses and their body language, so we know when they're in pain (they make it pretty obvious, too).
11. Were you raised in a barn?
Duh.
