It feels like a knife is constantly twisting in your gut. It's the first thing you think of when you wake up. You can't forget it - the last text, the last phone call, the last kiss. It's heartbreak...and I wouldn't wish the feeling on anyone. Even though I'm still hurting, I'm starting to take note of all the things I'm realizing.
1. It Isn't Your Fault
The first thing I thought was, "What did I do wrong?" I replayed all our conversations over and over again, trying to figure out what I said. But I've realized that it's not personal like that. You don't ask to be left - you don't ask to be destroyed. If you were a good significant other, don't question yourself - you're not to blame.
2. Don't Chase
If they left you, don't chase after them. There's a saying you should "fight for what you love", but I disagree. You shouldn't have to convince someone to stay. Let them leave. Swallow your sadness and wish them the best. It's their loss, anyways. If they ever decide to come back, at least you know it's because they wanted to, not because you made them an offer they couldn't resist.
3. Keep to Yourself
I know it's so tempting to go off on Twitter rant or post Snapchat stories that you know will anger them - but don't. Being petty will only make you feel so much better, until they do the same thing to you. And it stings twice as bad. Stay lowkey and work through it "off camera". Also, I know it's so tempting to text them and freak out, vent to them about all your emotions - but don't waste your breathe. Don't let them see you sweat.
4. Find the Good in Everything
I know it hurts like no other, but there's always a good side. Even if it's something tiny, like having more time to yourself or friends. Personally, I put all my energy into the gym and becoming a healthier version of myself. And that means more to me than any boy.
5. Time Heals All
Some days, it's all you can think about and you want to stay in bed all day - that's fine. But soon enough, you'll realize your smile is starting to come back. You're laughing loud again. You go out with friends, maybe even start flirting with other people. Then you realize - you haven't thought about them. And you realize you are moving on, and you feel free. That's the feeling you should keep hanging on for. It'll come to you someday.
It's okay to hurt for a while after this - remember that. But, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You will grow from this and be a better person. And this feeling won't last forever. Soon you'll see them for what they are:
A person who messed up.
Big time.
