"You have been excellent,” he said. He’s right, I have been. I stood by him and waited for him while he strung me along. I was patient and understanding. I defended him when he didn’t deserve it and I was loyal to him when he wasn’t really mine.
"Sometimes I’m a little too honest,” he said. But he wasn’t, at least he was never honest with me. I gave him plenty of opportunities to run and say that he didn’t want this. Instead, he was willing to just let it fizzle out. I ended it for him, because he was too immature to be honest.
"You deserve better,” he said. He’s right, I do deserve better. I deserve someone who will drop everything and set aside time to see me. Someone who will make me a priority in their lives, and won’t ever make me question what we are. I deserve someone who knows exactly what they want and makes it happen.
“I’m sorry,” he said. But I didn’t say it was okay because it’s not okay. It’s not okay to treat people like they don’t matter. It’s not okay to make future plans and talk about how you’re going to spend forever with someone, when really you’re going to bail and not even have the guts to end it.
“I just wasn’t what you needed,” he said. He’s right, because I needed him to be better than what he turned out to be. Even though at one point in time, he was exactly what I needed, he’s not anymore. He’s not the guy I fell for and he’s not the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. He wasn’t there for me when I needed him to be.
He said a lot of things, but didn’t say what I needed to hear. It’s devastatingly disappointing when someone who you thought the world of, turns out to be exactly who he said he wasn’t. He made promises he didn’t keep, and he lied and made excuses more often than not.
So this isn’t a break up where we civilly end things. Can you even break up if you were never really dating? Either way, this is a break up where I will make sure he knows that it's his fault. I may have been the adult and said that it was over, but he’s the one that ended it a long time ago. This is on him, and I refuse to take any of the blame.
