Having siblings is one of the most and least enjoyable parts of life. They drive you crazy, but you still love them all the same. However, having a sibling with Asperger's Syndrome can present some new challenges in itself.
Having a sibling with Asperger's means that you have to be patient. It means that sometimes you're going to have to try out different ways of communicating and explaining things in a way that makes sense to them. Most kids with Asperger's take things very literally. One time when my brother was six, he answered the phone and a family friend of ours asked, "Is your mom home?" to which he replied, "Yes" and hung up the phone. When you have a sibling with Asperger's you learn to explain things fully and say what you mean more directly in order to avoid any confusion.
Having a sibling with Asperger's means that you have to be flexible. When on vacation you might not be able to eat at every restaurant if they don't have your sibling's preferred type of food, or if the environment is too noisy. Most kids with Asperger's are highly sensitive and cannot be in environments that are too overwhelming. My brother tends to be very sensitive to foods and he won't eat anything that is too spicy or too flavored. There was a time on vacation when my brother tried a cinnamon donut and said it was "too spicy" for him.
Having a sibling with Asperger's means you will always be more protective of them than your other siblings. You are always looking out for them to make sure that they are okay in school and out of school. They may have never noticed you watch them as they pass by in the hallways to make sure they were doing alright, but it was a part of your daily routine. But you also understand that what they may perceive as bullying may be just teasing amongst friends. Because most kids with Asperger's have a hard time reading social cues they may make the honest mistake of misinterpreting some light hearted banter. You then become a detective at any report of bullying to determine the truth.
Having a sibling with Asperger's makes you more compassionate. You would never brush off that shy kid in your class or ignore the girl who is a little awkward two seats in front of you. You always make sure to include everyone and be nice to everyone despite any differences they may have. You have witnessed, first hand, the ways your sibling has been treated by peers.
Having a sibling with Asperger's means that you love them for who they are. You love all of their quirks and interests. You have spent countless hours listening to them talk about their passions whether it be insects, video games, engineering, reading or anything in between. You may not be able to list off even half of the facts that your sibling can on the topic, but you have become an honorary expert on it through them.
At the end of the day, people with Asperger's are people. They have accomplished some unbelievable feats, such as Bill Gates who has Asperger's. Among the list are also Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein. As the saying goes, "if you've met one person with Asperger's, you've met one person with Asperger's." Every kid with Asperger's is unique and different, they will each need different accommodations, have different interests and have different ways of acting. But all of us that have a sibling with Asperger's knows that we love them all the same.
