When I came to college, one of my biggest fears was finding new friends. I wanted so badly to find a huge group of friends, know everybody (quick note- if you go to a small school like mine you end up actually knowing everyone, even if you don’t particularly want to), I wanted to just simply be “in the know.”
For a while, I was. I had a group of amazing friends and we were all pretty close. Of course, people get into their own schedules and you quickly realize that being together all the time just doesn’t go with your 7am-3am schedules. (We still talk and are friends but I barely have time to sleep unfortunately.)
But if I could go back, if I could tell myself anything, it’d be what happened when I began to stop caring what others thought of me.
1) I began to feel healthier
2) I say how I feel and I’ve noticed those who matter, actually do not mind
3) I’ve started to have a healthier mind.
I shouldn’t say I don’t care what others think completely. I do care but to a healthier degree. I started to do things that made me happy, not what others were doing. On Friday nights you can catch me in my room, studying. It’s rare I go out, or drink, anymore. (I’m 21 and I’m in bed by 12 on the weekends. What is alcohol?) I find that I’m sick a lot even after just enjoying a simple drink with my friends and I feel perfectly fine that night. The next morning I’m still sick, and I’ve decided to enjoy a night out with my friends every once in a while. I don’t want to be the girl who enjoys a fun party every weekend, it’s expensive and my body can’t bounce back the way I wish it could.
I am such a blunt person. If you’re making me angry-you’ll know. If you’re saying something that is annoying me, you’ll know. And if you ask me for my opinion-I’ll gladly give it to you. I’ve began to realize that those who have stuck around, they don’t care that I say how I feel. They like it, they find it real.
I’ve started to have a clearer mind. I still have other things I definitely deal with daily, but I’ve noticed that by blocking out the bad, those things become much easier for me to tackle. On small campuses, rumors fly and they fly high. Everyone finds out “something” about you, even you find something out about you! More times than not, the rumors are not true, and I’ve stopped caring about them. I just go along with my day, do my school work, I go to work, and I go to bed. It’s just not worth my energy anymore.
So, no. I don’t really care anymore. And neither should you. Always remember to do simply what makes you happy. If that means being different than everyone else, good. Those who actually matter will always stay by your side.
