What A Guy Is Saying When He Doesn't Say Anything

What A Guy Is Saying When He Doesn't Say Anything

Because sometimes, we need an Odyssey article to be brutally honest with us when we're overthinking.
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Though the idea of this article seems simple, I couldn't help but wonder, why is this a common question for women?

Throughout my week, I hear my friends constantly questioning what it means when a guy doesn't answer. Regardless if he's ignoring texts, calls, or not talking to them in public, it's a question on every woman's mind at least once. And though it seems that the answer is simple, we don't, and can't, imagine it ever being that simple. We sit around all day thinking of the possibilities. We tell ourselves he's scared of commitment, and we let go of him ignoring us in public. We consequently question ourselves as to what it is about us that makes someone want to ignore us. We question and think and question and think, all because men are afraid to tell us what they really mean.

So what are guys saying when they don't say... well... anything?

His phone is not broken.

It's 2015. If someone's phone is broken, we have Mac computers that allow you to chat and answer messages on your laptop. If you don't have a Mac, there's Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook messages. If his phone was broken, you can schedule an appointment at the Apple Store the same day or order an Android online that comes to your house overnight. Spare phones are always out and about in the friend-o-sphere, as well. If there was the small chance his phone did get broken, he would've reached out by now.

He has looked at his phone.

I don't care if you're the least involved person on your phone, everyone looks at their phone at least once in an hour. If he's not texting you back for hours, or even days, there's a slim-to-none chance that it's just "because he hasn't looked at his phone yet."

He did not like your drunk texts.

We, women, have our moments. I can personally say I've done this more times than I'd ever like to admit. We bottle up our insecurities surrounding a guy, then unload those bottled-up emotions onto a bottle of vodka. With each slap-of-the-bag, we try to forget about the person, but in the morning, we wake up to a combination of "I hate you," and "Can I come over?" texts. And we hope that the guy will respond, laughing off how drunk we were. But he never does. Why? Because he did not like our drunk texts. At all.

He's been hooking up with someone you know.

This is the classic, I-thought-he-was-so-cute-and-I-told-everyone-about-how-cute-he-is-just-to-find-out-he's-been-hooking-up-with-the-girl-in-the-apartment-above-me.

He has a girlfriend.

And though this seems like something simple to tell someone, I've definitely awkwardly avoided people until they got the hint or looked on my Instagram about me dating someone.

He hasn't been at work for 12 hours straight, all day, with no chance to text you back.

Unless he's a deep sea fisher in the Bermuda Triangle, there is no chance he was stuck at work all day with no opportunity to contact you.

He also didn't get called into work at 10 p.m. on a Friday.

Though I guess there's an incredibly minuscule chance he works as bartender in the heart of New York City on New Year's Eve, there is a very larger chance that he does not.

He was trying to play it cool by not texting you back right away, ended up forgetting, and now he's gonna try to make up for it by texting you when he remembers, which is two days later.

Call me crazy, but I feel like this happens way more than more boys would like to admit.

He's not interested.

The simplest and most basic. We will sit around badgering ourselves into a mental frenzy. We will blame it on ourselves, saying we're not interesting, we're not pretty, we're not fun to talk to. But here's the twist.

Saying nothing is saying everything.

Regardless of why a guy doesn't answer you, when he doesn't say anything, that should say everything. Both men and women will try to say a lot to convince someone to stay interested. But we never back away and see what something is for it's face value. If someone is uninterested to talk to you, that is a cue that this person would never be good enough for you. Most of the time, we try to rationalize to ourselves how this person will eventually see our worth. Not everyone is supposed to be interested in you. Compare it to yourself; I'm sure you are not interested in every guy you meet either.When you go out on a limb to care for someone, it's hard to come to terms with ourselves when it goes south. This says more about him than it does you. This is not an issue with you, but an issue with him.

If a guy makes you feel like you are not worth it, he is not worthy of you. And don't you want to be with someone worthy of the beautiful, intelligent, and incredible addition to this planet that you are?

Cover Image Credit: rebloggy.com

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.

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They raise little girls to be insecure

Little girls grow to be big girls

People always ask big girls why they're so insecure

Big girls aren't quite sure

Day after day the big girl can't keep up

She's exhausted

Her soul feels worn

The big girl learns to grow hard

In a way, she's a bit stronger

People call her a bitch

Bitch

What is that?

How can she let that affect her

It's simply the only way to be her

She mourns that little girl

Hoping that one day

She'll be strong


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