What Gets You Out Of Bed In The Morning?

What Gets You Out Of Bed In The Morning?

The pursuit of happiness tells you to find what you love; even if it's not what you're "supposed" to love.
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The other day I went to a Big 3 consulting panel held by a consulting club here at UM. They offered a lot of good advice about the field of consulting and getting into the field and figuring out the direction you want to go. But they also offered a lot of other kinds of advice about more conceptual ideas about life and work and balancing the two.

One of the questions asked of the panel was "What gets you out of bed in the morning?" For all of the panelists, it was something to do with their job or something to do with a close personal hobby. That warmed my heart; these people genuinely loved their jobs so much that they wanted to continue solving those problems, even if that's what they had been doing the day before for 14 hours.

It was inspiring to hear that. It makes you want to think twice about what you're going to pick for the future, whether that's something that you're going to want to get out of bed every day for, even when the job gets tough.

But one of the panelists gave us a different piece of advice in the midst of this, "I love my job," spiel. She said, "Do one thing that you genuinely love to do every day. Otherwise, I don't know how you would ever wake up in the morning or survive these Michigan winters."

Do one thing that you love to do every day.

Outside of your job, do something you love every day. Take time out for you. Yes, you have to eat, shower, work, and get through your to-do list. But you are not a machine. You're not supposed to be on all the time. You deserve more than your 5 minute shower for a break.

You should be able to do one thing you love every day. For the panelists, that might have been reading a book for a half hour before bed or going for a run or talking to friends or making a piece of artwork.

It made me think. What's my passion? What gets me up in the morning? What's my one thing I love to do every day?

Certainly, school feels more like work and I don't relish the feeling of going to classes at 8:30 in the morning or cracking open my still-warm laptop to write yet another essay. So what's got me churning? What's got me lugging through the mess of responsibilities and the sea of doubt and stress and uncertainties?

I think it's my friends.

Yes, I think it's these losers:

I imagine that's not the thing my parents want to hear. But it's true.

Regardless of when I go to bed, I wake up without fail around 8 a.m. It's my natural biological clock, I guess. Without fail, as soon as my eyes snap open, I start panicking about everything I have to do that day. (No mom, by panicking I don't mean actually panicking. It's a healthy anxiety. Usually.)

But soon enough, my thoughts move over to the moments during the day when I'll be able to see my friends. When I'll be able to share something with them, when I'll be able to hear their laughter. Even if I only get to see them for a short 30 minutes during dinner on weekdays, those 30 minutes tide me over for the exhausting amount of work I have to do all day.

Because of my extroversion, I need a group of people like this in my life. A group of people whose energy I can feed off of, who I can rely on, who boost me up when I'm down. People I feel comfortable sharing next to anything with.

It feels wrong to equate them with my family and with the role my family plays in my life because my family is certainly my biggest rock and source of support and no one would ever be able to take their place in my life. But here on campus, these friends are like my family away from family. The close bonds we've formed feel just as permanent.

When I need them, they're there for me, and when they need me, I love being there for them. For the first time in my life, being there for someone else doesn't feel like a chore or an obligation, because they don't treat me like that either. They fuel me. They keep me going.

If in my life my friends are the reason why I wake up in the morning, I'd say that's a pretty positive thing. At least I have something to get up going in the morning. Life is meant for the pursuit of happiness and you have to do what you can to get to that happiness.

I know I'm supposed to find purpose in something else, something more meaningful, something that would contribute to the greater society. But I find that my friends and being with them, learning about them, learning from them, and helping them grow as people is my purpose. It's what I enjoy doing. It's the one thing that I love doing in my day aside from all of the other work I have to do.

I want to leave you with a few questions to ask yourself. What gets you up in the morning? How can you work that into more of your daily life? Life is short, short, short. Don't spend all of it working on stuff you didn't care as much about. There's this great thing called perspective, but most of us miss out on it until the very end of our lives when it's already too late.

Try reminding yourself of what's important now, and strive to make that happen. Take the time for the pursuit of happiness while you still have legs to get you there.

Cover Image Credit: Riya Gupta

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4 Reasons Why Dads Threatening Their Daughters' Boyfriends Aren't Funny

No guns, threats, or creepy infringement on their privacy necessary.
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This week, former NFL player Jay Feely caught Twitter's attention by posting a picture with his daughter and her prom date and a handgun.

While the comedic undertones of the photo are obvious, Twitter had a lot to say about the picture and most people weren't happy.

He has since issued a statement of clarification after the tweet went viral, acknowledging that gun safety is an important issue and clarifying that he was in fact joking. Unfortunately, though, the damage had already been done.

Feely is far from the only dad who's ever made this joke. It's a largely prevalent theme specifically among gun owners and in country music. Check out the song "Cleaning This Gun" for another example. It's catchy, I have to admit, I just listened to it again voluntarily the other day even though I don't agree with the central message.

But what's really the matter with this picture? After all, it's just dads being dads, right? Wrong. The political, historical, and gender-specific rhetoric behind the idea of dads protecting their daughters by threatening their boyfriends have all combined to create a lot of things wrong with this picture. Here are 4 of them.

1. Gun violence is no laughing matter

This theme has come up over and over and over again this year but it's one that continues to be relevant and timely. Gun violence is a very real issue, with thousands of deaths, dozens of mass shootings, and deep political biases, making it far from a joke. While there is a major difference between the handgun in Feely's picture and the assault weapons that have been at the center of recent mass shootings, threatening to shoot someone, particularly an unarmed teenager, is just poor humor.

2. Parents do not get a say in their daughters' sexual choices

From chastity rallies at churches to purity balls entrusting their sexual purity to their dads to presenting "virginity certificates" to dads at weddings (hint, you can't medically prove someone's a virgin), parents' obsession with their daughters' sexual behaviors, not their sons', mind you, just their daughters, is creepy, intrusive, and disgusting.

Decisions about whether or not to engage in sexual activity, at any point from high school to marriage and on to the rest of their lives, is up to the two people involved, not the parents, the church, the government, or any outside parties. By reinforcing the idea that the parent is in control of these decisions that their kids are supposed to make for themselves, parents like these are perpetuating archaic ideals, destroying the trust their children have in them, and setting them up for destructive sexual behavior down the line.

3. There is an extremely obvious (and dangerous) sexual double standard between boys and girls

While young women are told to guard their purity and that engaging in sexual activity makes them less worthwhile people, boys are encouraged to use sexual conquests to assert their dominance and their behaviors are not focused on nearly as much by parents, religious organizations, or sexual education programs.

If women are taught to remain virginal until marriage and homosexuality is frowned down upon, who exactly are these boys supposed to be having sexual conquests with? Beats me.

4. Sexual repression and rape culture go hand-in-hand

These parents criticize their daughters for participating in safe, monogamous sexual relationships but do not give the same attention and threats to people that threaten their wellbeing. By teaching your daughter that she can't trust you, you're setting her up for trouble down the line.

While this entire situation could be passed off as a harmless joke that got a little out of hand, it's obvious that the problems run deep and can have a lasting effect, especially on the girl at the center of the "joke." Bottom line, trust your kids. Believe that they have the self-respect and the critical thinking skills to make healthy relationship decisions and support them in making them. No guns, threats, or creepy infringement on their privacy necessary.

Cover Image Credit: Jay Feely: Twitter

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Don't Be A Freak And GO GREEK

FREAKS AND GREEKS.
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Hey everyone!

For this weeks article, I wanted to share a speech I gave for my rhetoric class regarding Greek Life. The type of speech I gave is called a Jeremiad. A Jeremiad is a type of speech in which we try to inform the society of a problem or a complaint and ways to fix it. Regarding Greek Life, we tend to find reasons to bash on the community, so I wanted to remind us why this community is so extremely amazing, and why everyone should pledge. Enjoy!

Why should you pledge next year? Well let me tell you. But first, let me tell you a bit about myself. I grew up in a very Greek life oriented family. My Dad was a Sigma Chi and my mom was an Alpha Phi at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. In addition, my brother, a junior at the University of Iowa, is a Sigma Chi. With this being said, I was destined to be a part of Greek life, too. And thank god I did. I am telling you to pledge because you will make friends that become family, create opportunities for the real world, and become extremely involved in the community.

Coming in Freshmen year, only knowing three kids from my high school, didn’t give me much of a head start on having lots of friends. Seeing my friends snap chat stories of their first few weeks of college at the University of Minnesota made me jealous. They all had each other, they all had friends. After rushing, it reminded me why I went to the University of Iowa.

The process of rushing, for girls, is rigorous. I can’t tell you it won’t be stressful, scary, tiring, and long; HOWEVER, if you trust the process, and stay positive, it is totally worth it.

Rushing, takes two weeks in total. I had to talk to each sorority, and if they liked me and I liked them I kept going back to their house. Each round the list of houses I went back to kept getting smaller and smaller, until I had two houses left. On the last day of rushing, I find out which house, out of my two options, gave me a bid.

Bid day starts off with sitting on our bid cards for thirty minutes. After the anxiety ridden 30 minutes are over, PHC counts down from ten… 10… people are getting anxious, 5… people are starting to sweat… 3 people can’t believe it isn’t one yet… 1… cards are ripped open, tears are shed, girls are screaming, hugging, finding their sisters. This day affects the next four years of your life and it will be the best four years of your life.

There are 54 girls in my pledge class and 157 girls in my sorority. That means I have 157 sisters that are going to be my life long friends. All the girls in my house are so similar; yet so different. We all have different stories to share and different experiences to bring to the table. Bailey Johnson, a Greek Life advocate, in a blog post writes, “Being in a sorority means that you'll have the biggest group of supporters around. Whether they're your #1 fan when you have exciting news, eating a gallon of ice cream and watching chick flicks with you after a breakup, or taking care of you when your night has been a little bit too crazy, they will always stand behind you and cheer you on. Your sisters want you to be happy and will always do whatever they can to be sure that you are.” I want the girls in Alpha Phi to be in my wedding. I love these girls with my whole heart. They are my best friends. They are my family. In addition, not only have I met girls in my sorority, I have met so many amazing girls and boys in other sororities/fraternities, too. Overall, the amount of people I have met through this community is incredible. And telling you I love them with my whole heart is an understatement.

By being a part of the Greek community, creates so many opportunities to make connections once you are out of college. A senior in my sorority was offered an executive position through alpha phi international for this upcoming fall. Without being involved in Greek Life, this opportunity would not have been presented to her. By going greek we have the opportunity to learn how to communicate with all different types of people, which, in the end, will prep you for the real world when finding a job. Career expert, Vivki Salemi states, “Greek life recruitment season primes you for social skills and emotional intelligence that employer’s covet. In addition Greek affiliation could be used as a networking tool and including it on a resume shows that a candidate is well-rounded and able to balance multiple responsibilities.” There are 9 million people in the United States that are affiliated with Greek Life, that means that there are 9 million connections one could make to grow their business, and find success in the professional world. You learn skills that are imperative to landing a job while having the best time of your life just by being associated with Greek Life.

While many people stereotype frats and sororities, we forget how much the Greeks are involved in the community. At the University of Iowa alone we have raised over $805,000 through philanthropies for charitable organizations. Some of the organizations include, Children’s Miracle network hospitals, Huntsman Cancer Institute, St. Jude and American Heart association. Not only do we benefit the community, we strive to excel in academics at the University of Iowa. In order to stay in the chapter, it is required to have a certain GPA. If you are under a 3.0 you are on academic probation and if you continue to be below a 3.0 GPA for more than one semester, your membership may be terminated. While, yes, fraternities and sororities like to have a good time, we take school very seriously. In fact, in order to be able to attend events, you must attend a certain amount of educational lectures, and volunteer a certain amount of hours per semester.

As Greek Life continues to be talked down, and reprimanded, it is our job to change it around. I’m asking you to pledge and make a difference in the community. Get away from the connotation that talks down Greek life. Our reputation can be changed. We can change the headlines about fraternities and sororities to all the good things we do, like raise millions of dollars for charitable organizations, rather than freak accidents that could happen to any child at any school Greek life affiliated or not. I’m asking you to pledge because it will be the best decision of your entire life. I’m asking you to pledge because without pledges Greek life will be gone. I’m asking you to pledge because you meet your best friends and family. I’m asking you to pledge because it’s great for real world experience. I’m asking you to pledge because it’ll make these next 4 years of your life, the best four years of your life. So just remember… don’t be a freak and go Greek.

Cover Image Credit: Personal Photo

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