Isn't it annoying hearing all those questions straight people don't realize they themselves would be offended to hear? Or how people who accept us see us more as a prop? I know I am. But as we get older, we hear the same things over and over again and by the time we hit 30 we are asked:
1. "Just don't hit on me."
Because we all can't control our desperate need to be with a straight person obviously.
2. "Trust me, you'll love doing it with a girl/guy."
Then you'll love doing it with someone of the same sex, too. No? Didn't think you would appreciate hearing that.
3. "OMG you can be my GBF!"
Yes, because my goal in life was to be a white girl's walking and talking accessory.
4. "Does it hurt to do it in the butt?"
Only when I sit in an uncomfortable chair, other than that sitting in chairs feels pretty good. Is that not what you meant?
5. "Why does every gay person try to turn me gay?"
Not sure who you're talking about, but I can guarantee you that we don't want you swinging on our team.
6. "Respect my religion."
Respect my sexuality first.
7. "I normally don't like gay people, but you're an alright person."
I usually hate homophobes, but you're not one of the worst ones I've met.
8. "Wow, I thought every gay girl/guy was feminine/butch."
Which movie did you base that stereotype off of?
9. "When did you come out?"
This is actually an okay question to ask, feel free to ask other appropriate questions.
10. "Stop being such a faggot."
You know you love it.
11. "I'm not racist, I'm gay."
Stop using your minority status to defend your racism.
12. "Can I do your makeup?"
I'm gay, not your barbie doll. Move along.
13. "Have you ever done a threesome?"
Sorry, I'm not interested in having one with you. Please stop asking me.
14. "Would you ever do it with a girl/guy?"
Would you?
15. "You're going to go to hell."
Guess I'll see you down there, Shannon.
16. "Gay people have so much more sex than straight people."
No, just more than you probably.
17. "You're gay, right? Can you give me some fashion pointers?"
Your attitude looks terrible on your stereotype. I think you should change out both.
18. "You're religious? Doesn't everyone you go to church with hate you though?"
Only the homophobic ones.
19. "Why do you guys get a parade and straight people don't?"
Last time I checked you were never killed or abandoned by your family for being straight.
20. "My gay friend thinks you're cute..."
Half the time they aren't cute themselves.
21. "You don't look gay!"
Darn, I knew I left my rainbow flag at home!
22. "So are you gay by choice or..."
No, I got a letter in the mail. It was either that or pay a fee.
23. "I'm not homophobic, I have a gay friend!"
They must either be dumb or deaf to stay with you then.
24. "I have the perfect guy/girl for you!"
That's nice and all but I'm pretty sure you're just pairing us up because we're both gay.
25. "How come all the cute guys are gay?"
Because your standards are too high.
26. "Gays can't be republican."
We can, just most of us don't like the people who think we're abominations.
27. "Have you ever seen a vagina?"
No, but I see a dick right in front of me.
28. "Top or bottom?"
This is what every gay man hears within the first ten lines of a conversation with another gay man on Grindr.
29. "Being gay only means you like it up the butt."
No, being gay means that you have a community with you that supports you when the world doesn't and you will be criticized for your sexuality.
30. "Okay."
The people who really don't care always say this and we appreciate that they leave it at that.
If you are gay, you know these 30 things to be true!
