Relationships these days have evolved so much since earlier times and that has caused us to make certain treatment "okay" when in reality, you deserve to be treated so much better. But how do you interpret whether or not you are being treated well?
You are worthy of being treated with respect, kindness, and love, but how does one portray that? We have such high expectations for being treated well; however, even we don't know what kind of treatment we are looking for. We often blind ourselves to the negatives in a relationship and make excuses for not being treated the way we deserve. In college, relationships are strained in the first place by all the pressure and balancing your life, your relationship, school, etc. It is typical for women to expect to be treated in a special way, but not know what to expect. It is typical to often find yourself constantly asking for more, without knowing what type of "more" you need. It is typical to want that perfect relationship, but it is important to remember relationships are not perfect. There may not be such thing as a perfect relationship; however, each person, whether you are male or female, deserve to be treated above and beyond the normal.
How do you tell if you are being treated well in a healthy relationship?
There are certain feelings you have or feelings that go away when you being treated properly. For example, you are never left wondering how one is feeling or what is going to happen next. It is common for people to be in a relationship and constantly be worried of heartbreak or be questioning whether or not your partner is in it for the long run. You should always be honest with your feelings and make sure to tell them how you're feeling, even, no especially, when you are feeling happier than ever. Just because nothing is wrong doesn't mean you don't need to explain you're feelings. Reassurance is key.
In a healthy relationship, you are able to balance your school, friends, relationship, work, etc. Your significant other should understand that and not expect all your time. That being said, you still have to put in an effort and make time for them. If you're being treated well, you should never feel like you aren't a priority.
For some more than others, jealousy is a bit of an issue. Jealousy is common but too much is overwhelming. You should feel protective over your significant other, but not worried someone will take them away. In a relationship where you are treated right, you should feel at ease when they are with the opposite sex or going out without you. This is a familiar issue in college with parties and drinking. It is okay to be jealous, but if you're significant other is constantly worried about whether or not you are doing something you shouldn't be doing, then either they need to figure out how to trust, or you need to prove them and reassure them you are the only one you want.
If you're being treated right, you should never feel like one person is putting in more effort than the other. A relationship should have equal feelings, equal actions, equal effort.
Personally, I think our judgements on being treated right come from television shows and movies. Romance is overdone in shows and movies and often make us expect actions and a relationship to be as perfect as shown on the TV. Although there are some aspects of reality to those fictional relationships, they make us expect so much more and appreciate less. You should surprise them with romantic gestures, dates, and sometimes little gifts, but you can't expect a Chuck Bass or Nathan Scott at all times. Their characters depict respectful, caring men in relationships which we all should expect. But why are fictional relationships on TV so unrealistic? We do not tell our significant other how to act or what will make us content, nor should we. But in TV series or movies, we write out the perfect love story. We have been raised seeing happy endings and perfectly timed actions when one messes up. Although you hope to one day have a happy ending to your fairytale, majority of the time, it doesn't end the way you want it to or you don't end up being flourished with flowers and chocolate every time he messes up.
At the end of the day, it is your judgement on how you depict being treated correctly. Your true happiness is the main representation. A relationship should be easy-going and filled with love and laughter. There will be downs, but there should be many ups. Enjoy your relationship, if it's meant to work, it will. Stand up for how you want to be treated. It's your happiness.
XOXO,
Alyssa Ellyn
