A Letter To My Younger Self:
Hello darling. Today is your last day of eighth grade. It's been a rough couple of years, I know. You just learned how to straighten your newly highlighted hair and you're ready to go high school in a new town with people you never met before. You will be okay. You don't know this yet but you are a fighter. Take a deep breath and sit down because I've got some things to tell you.
It's going to be hard. I wish I could prepare you for everything and tell you what's going to happen so you can stop some things from happening but I know that if certain things didn't happen, you wouldn't be me today.
You are about to meet some of the greatest people in the world. Don't be afraid to make friends, these kids are not the kids you grew up with. These kids will not laugh at you, they will laugh with you. Some you won't realize how important they are for a couple years, others you will realize the moment you meet them. They will support through the good and the bad and you will do the same for them.
You must never let anyone tell you how to feel about your body. You are beautiful. You do not have to be thinner or heavier for anyone. Sometimes the people shouting that they know what's best for you are the ones who want what's best for them. You are entitled to your own life and how you see yourself. Please never forget that.
You will learn to cut people who don't deserve to be in your life out. It will be hard and the pain of your decision will always hurt a little, but a sting is a lot better than a deep wound.
Protect your brothers. Don't treat your relationship with your brothers like a competition. I know that you're made to feel like it is that way but it's not. No matter how much you want everything to be fair, it never will be. You are the oldest and it sucks hearing about how you are the oldest, but this will never stop. But no matter what Mom or Dad might ask of you or demand from you, never allow their expectations to strain your relationship with the boys.
You don't have to carry everyone's world on your shoulders. I know you want to help everyone and be the person you wish would help you, but you can't always be. You have to learn that you should never put yourself as a secondary character in your own story. You are worth so much more.
Mom and Dad are going to get divorced. Even though you will tell everyone it's for the best, it will break your heart. You will see it coming. Your friends will warn you about the signs. I can't tell you when that pain will go away because it hasn't yet.
You will suffer from anxiety. It's real despite people telling you that it's not because "you're too young to be worried about anything". That's not how an anxiety disorder works.
You will never stop pursuing acting as a career. However, you will learn many new art forms and fall in love with each, and your love for them will only make you stronger in this field. Writing, assistant directing, makeup. If it's one thing we're great at, it's unwavering determination in ourselves. I know we'll make it.
Cars need oil changes. Brakes need to be fixed. Do not talk on the phone when driving. Parking tickets need to be paid. If you don't have change for the tolls on the parkway, don't use the parkway. Please. Your wallet is begging you.
Do not let anyone tell you that when you get to my age you won't love Disney anymore. They are wrong, so so so very wrong. Your love for Disney will save you down the road in more ways than you can imagine. I'm so excited for you because one day your love of Disney will pay off and it will be the greatest thing in the entire world.
Right now you are dreaming of a six-floor house with blue shutters and a purple door. You want to be famous at 16, married by 23, and a mother of five by 28. Your dreams of being an adult will change. Even though I still want a slide and a ball pit in my future home, I've realized that being 21 is not as old as I thought it was when I was 14. My life isn't meant to be put together and solved yet. I want a house big enough that everyone living inside has their own bedroom and their own bed. A balcony and a garden, huge windows looking out on the water would all be nice but a home doesn't come from being the biggest or having the coolest stuff inside. Home is truly what you make it. You will live in the biggest houses and the smallest apartments, it's all about the love and positivity you bring into it that makes it a home.
Never stop writing and never stop believing in yourself. We will achieve our dreams. One day an older Lizzy will write to me, and knowing us, she'll have a lot to say.
