If I had to describe the gay dating scene, one word comes to my mind: tragic.
Ever since I came out and began dating, I was annoyed about the difference in dating styles between my personal relationships and those of my heterosexual friends. I am not saying that I wish gay relationships were heteronormative, but from what I have gathered, the dating scene is absent for the most part with the younger generation of gay men.
I believe a major reason behind the lack of dating is the fact that open gay relationships usually do not develop until the late teen years. As children we are always set to a 'straight' standard, and therefore in the early teens and preteen era, when heterosexual teens are starting to slowly enter the dating scene, children who are gay do not have until a much later time to do so. At this time, all their peers have already dated numerous people, have experienced more intimate relationships before they even openly look for a partner. I have always noticed that relationships of my fellow gay men progress extremely vast, and the time period between dating and being intimate is much shorter than those of my straight friends. Perhaps this is a feeling of playing catch up? Where the first relationship they enter, they feel as if they must progress quickly, as to hopefully be on the same level as their friends and those around them. This is always the theory that I go to when trying to find a reasoning behind an odd dating scene.
Another unfortunate hindrance is the introduction of Grindr, Jack'd, and many other gay hookup apps. There are countless apps with countless members, and these apps are primarily used for one purpose: sex. Truly, you log on to these apps and within minutes already have people messaging you for sex.
As I stated earlier, tragic is the word I would use. As a teenager seeking comfort and wanting to be desired, why would you wait weeks to potentially meet someone when you have countless people awaiting you online looking for, as they put it, "Right Now." As disturbing as this may sound, it is actually happening every minute, and it is easy to understand why. It is unfortunate that we get caught in these cycles of hookups, and with everyone so involved in this cycle there leaves very little room for dating and establishing emotional connections.
