It occurred to me the other day, when I had gotten into a disagreement with one of my friends that life is not worth the grudges, the anger, and the tears. We could make our rides much smoother if we remembered that when bickering over something that is utterly pointless. But I think every single one of us need to think something for just a moment.
Have we stopped apologizing?
It seems to me that apologies do not come easily. I think that we have started avoiding them more than we used to in the past. Perhaps with age, we get more entitled to being right. As kids, we were taught if you were mean to someone on the playground, you would have to work it out and a teacher would most likely make you apologize. The next day, you were playing as if nothing happened. Apologies are sometimes all we need and can be a quick fix to the situation.
I find a lot of the time, I'm not mad at someone for what happened, but that I'm mad because I never got an apology or evidence that they realized they hurt me. Apologies can mend a lot more than we think.
Why have we stopped apologizing?
Are we too protective of our egos? Do we feel a point of weakness if we apologize? Do we think that person we are fighting with is going to look at us differently if we do?
I heard a quote that really resonated with me: "Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego."
It's true. Apologizing shows how much you care to have the other person in your life. You don't always have to admit your wrong. You can apologize by saying "I'm sorry I hurt you," or "I'm sorry you feel that way." Which is by no means saying, "I was wrong. You're right." You may never think your actions were wrong, but you are sorry the other person did not perceive them in the way you wanted them to.
Be sincere. A crappy apology is as bad as not apologizing at all. Don't be passive aggressive.
If I were to change one thing about myself, it would be to apologize quicker and more often. Just looking someone in the eyes and saying, "I am sorry" is so important to do. And the quicker you do it, the shorter your relationship is strained. People go years without apologizing and often come to realize that they wasted so much time.
The next time you are in a big fight or a small disagreement, ask yourself if we have stopped apologizing or if you are going to be the one who changes that. You never know what could happen if you wait too long to apologize.
Don't be the one of many who have stopped apologizing.
"It takes a strong person to apologize and a stronger person to forgive."
