What It Really Means To Be The Bigger Person

What It Really Means To Be The Bigger Person

A lesson on letting go and apologizing.
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No one ever denied that apologies can be incredibly difficult -- especially when you know you’re right, the other person is completely kidding themselves and at fault, and you just can’t get over your big ego. But the lesson of being “the bigger person,” though it is as old as time, still remains valid and deserves to be taught time and time again.

Can you think of a feud from years ago that might have ended a friendship? Can you think of someone you feel uncomfortable talking to because you still think they owe you an apology? Can you maybe even think of something you’ve done wrong but still haven’t apologized for because it doesn’t feel like it’s worth it?

Let’s just be really blunt with ourselves for a minute or two. No matter how many Facebook statuses you post about being “a princess,” or being a woman (which means you’re never wrong), or how stupid, lying and cheating everyone else in the world can be, the fact of the matter is you’re not always right. Sorry, sweetie.

Of course this doesn’t just go for women because in any argument between anyone, there is rarely someone who is completely right and someone who is completely wrong. As the saying goes, there are always three sides to every story: your side, my side and the truth.

That person that you aren’t talking to -- can you imagine what they might be saying about you right now? How you are at fault, or how rude you might have been to them? Do you think there might just be a shred of truth in all of that that you could apologize for? Because, more than likely, there is.

All sass aside, let’s get to the point. What does it really mean to be the bigger person? The answer is very simple. Being the bigger person means realizing that you actually aren’t always right, that you sometimes deserve to give an apology as much as you deserve to receive one and that being able to set aside your ego and take the five minutes to apologize to someone is worth much more than years of argument.

Really, that’s all it takes! If you set aside just a few minutes to swallow your pride and apologize, sincerely and truthfully, you can show yourself just how strong you are and how much you value that person’s friendship. It’s important to realize, first and foremost, that a mended relationship is worth being wrong for a minute and listening carefully and dutifully to the other side of the story.

Arguments happen, and they can be detrimental and hurtful: ending relationships, causing bitterness and defining scars in the history of that relationship. But it’s so vital to understand that if you let a relationship end because of an argument, you’re letting that argument win. However, if you choose to grow and learn from that argument, strengthening that relationship, then you’ve overcome that pettiness and turned an argument into something positive.

Never be afraid to apologize first. It will sting your ego, sure, but there is something so profoundly graceful about doing something you hate for someone you love.

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Why Your Grandma Is Your Biggest Blessing In Life

Because nobody loves you more than she does.
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There are many people in your life you are thankful for: Mom, Dad, siblings, cousins, best friends, teachers, neighbors, you name it. You are grateful to have people who constantly support you, who pick you up when you're down and love you unconditionally. But the one person who stands out among the rest of them is your grandma.

SEE ALSO: 10 Reasons Why Your Grandma Is The Best Person In Your Life

Ever since you were little, you and your grandma have always had a special connection. Going over to Grandma's house for the night was something you looked forward to. She knew how to entertain you at your best and worst moments. No matter what you did together, you loved it. Being with your grandma wasn't like being at home or with your parents – it was better. You went to the park, made cookies, went out to dinner, got a “sweet treat" at the mall, played Go Fish, took a bubble bath for as long as you wanted and got way too much dessert than you should have. You did things you weren't supposed to do, but Grandma didn't stop you. Because at Grandma's house there were no rules, and you didn't have to worry about a single thing. Being with Grandma was the true epitome of childhood. She let you be you. She always made sure you had the best time when you were with her, and she loved watching you grow up with a smile on your face.

The older you got, your weekend excursions with your grandma weren't as frequent, and you didn't get to see her as much. You became more and more busy with school, homework, clubs, sports, and friends. You made the most out of your time to see her, and you wished you could be with her more. Although you were in the prime of your life, she mattered even more to you the older you both became. You were with your friends 24/7, but you missed being with your grandma. When the time rolled around, and you got the chance to spend time with her, she told you never to apologize. She wanted you to go out, have fun and enjoy life the way it makes you happy.

Reflecting back on these moments with your grandma, you realize how truly special she is to you. There is no one who could ever compare to her nor will there ever be. All your life, there is no one who will be as sweet, as caring, as sincere or as genuine as her. Even though you're all grown up now, there are things about your grandma that never changed from when you were a kid. She still takes you out for your favorite meal because she knows how important eating out means to you. She writes you letters and sends you a $5 bill every now and then because she knows you're a hard-working college student with no money. She still helps you with all of your Christmas shopping because she knows it's your tradition. She still asks what's new with your young life because hearing about it makes her day and she still loves you to no end. Your grandma is your biggest blessing (whether you knew it or not), and she always will be no matter what.

Cover Image Credit: Erin Kron

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It Takes A Bigger Person To Ignore The Haters

Its part of leadership skills to be able to ignore those who disrespect you.

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It takes a bigger person to deal with people who dislike you. I will be the first one to say that I sometimes don't handle stressful situations well. I lash out but I'm always the first one to apologize. I wish I could be the person who lets it go and is able to keep my temper under control. I used to have a longer fuse, but as I grow older, I lose my patience for shenanigans. It's funny how the universe shows you what you need to learn and I need to learn to not take things as seriously. You could be walking down the street one day and the universe presents you with something that can either make or break your perception.

Currently, I am forced to work with the main people who don't like or respect me on a special project at work. This would be a chance to show how I work with people of differing work ethics. It's interesting when someone feels intimidated by someone that they attack them every chance they have. I was one of those people until I learned that it is a waste of energy. It truly sucks being the bigger person when you have some fight in you still. Seeing people who attack because they are scared or misunderstood is an eye-opening experience. The lesson that our parents teach us that people who want to be like us will attack us doesn't sound like an "old wives tale" anymore. Like my husband says, "the one finger that is pointed at me, there is a thousand pointing back at you."

It truly takes a while to center yourself enough to not waste energy on attacking others verbally. The best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation. Separate yourself and work on a different side of the project. When you are separated from a hard situation, it helps you regroup and plan the best way to proceed. One needs to accept that they aren't going to be liked by everyone. If you have nobody that dislikes you, it shows that you haven't lived. You shouldn't live your life to appease everyone. It takes a bigger person to let stuff go. What I mean by a bigger person is that you let things go and don't waste your energy on the negativity. It's a mark of a true leader to be respectful to those who don't respect you.

Nobody likes to be disliked and it's sometimes isn't easy to ignore the haters. Whenever someone attacks you verbally, it's normally they have a problem with themselves. My favorite saying growing up is " hate is like a mirror." What can be said from that is that people see the things they hate about themselves in someone else and that's the reason they dislike or "hate" you. I used to not believe it, but growing up has shown my examples. Treasure those who love you and want to see you grow. Throw away those who constantly tear you down. Wasting the energy on someone or people will get you nowhere.

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