Bathrobe? Check.
Desk lamp? Check.
Post-its? Check.
Pepper spray… Wait, pepper spray?
Yeah, you heard me. This year, along with my lavender bedding set and my whiteboard calendar, I’m bringing my personal siren and pepper spray to college. But, why?
Because, while I am not a victim of rape, I am a victim of rape culture. I’ve never been attacked inside or outside of campus, but I have seen rape culture’s drastic effects on our society. I have been cat-called on the streets with my friends in broad daylight. I have had guys, both complete strangers and good friends, make unwanted advances on me. I have had a waiter at a respectable hotel and restaurant almost drug me in front of my parents and extended family (and had I not noticed, maybe I wouldn’t be here right now). Many of my own friends have been victims of rape, sexual assault, or sexual harassment either on or near college campuses -- and, instead of universities across the nation holding assailants accountable and taking action for the greater good of their students, college students like me are left to fend for themselves.
Because, according to the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center, rape is the most common violent crime on college campus. A study conducted by Brown University’s School of Public Health claims that 1 in 5 college women are victims of rape or attempted rape during their first three months on campus. These statistics serve as a wake-up call to those who deny the severity of sexual crimes, and those who remind us of these statistics care for our safety. But, when will it stop being our responsibility to protect ourselves from our own abuse, this physical and emotional pain and trauma when we are not the ones committing the crime?
Because, no one cares about our cries for help. Instead of taking strides to fight sexual violence, we would rather encourage young women to feel so afraid to walk back to their dorms that they are compelled to buy pepper spray to alleviate some of their anxiety. And, even when we do receive the help we need, it stops after endless questions about our wardrobe or our blood alcohol levels, which are used to justify a rapist’s vile, disgusting actions. Sure, these may be factors, but they do not excuse the revolting atrocities the assailant has committed, or the lack of medicinal and emotional support for the victim.
When we blame victims for their own abuse, we discourage them from reporting their assaults. We lose sight of who really deserves to be punished, or what the crime even was in the first place. We seize every opportunity to limit the actions of young girls; we ask victims so many questions, prying into their sex life and alcohol use. Yet, we put in no effort whatsoever in teaching children to respect each other, regardless of gender. We have to educate our children to stop transgressing people’s boundaries -- not because you can get in trouble, not because you’ll get sued, not because it’ll crush your dreams and end your future, but because it is morally, irrevocably wrong to do so. It is wrong to deliberately inflict physical and emotional pain on someone. It is wrong to steal someone's dignity, pride, and self-worth and replace it with nothing but fear, pain, and trauma.
I hope that one day women like me will be able to walk home alone without fearing for their dear lives. That, one day, we can live in a world that treats sexual crime seriously and condemns all forms of rape jokes or offensive rhetoric. That, one day, our society can understand that the only surefire way to end sexual crime is to educate ourselves and others on how to be moral, decent human beings. I plan to devote a part of my time to empower victims, to help them get the justice they deserve. And, if you really care about these victims, so should you. We can no longer remain passive.
Until then, I guess I’ll have to stick with my personal siren and pepper spray. Because these are the only things that will make me feel somewhat, if not totally, safe in a world that trivializes sexual crime and refuses to take its victims seriously.
