So it's over now, and you want to know if we can still keep parts of what we're letting go. That's what it means to "still be friends." It means pretending like everything is fine and that we're not turning off parts of ourselves to accommodate the fact that letting go completely is a difficult thing to do.
Let me tell you what happens in a parallel universe when we decide to stay friends. One of us is prepared. One of us has thought about the way that this new relationship with work. One of us has etched boundaries in our mouth to block out the words that we won't say out loud anymore. One of us has weighed the pros and cons of trying to work things out and realized that it can't be possible. The other one of us will just be along for the ride. I imagine quitting a person is just as difficult as trying to stop smoking cigarettes, but they don't make medicine for that.
Regardless of which person I am in this scenario, I don't want to be a part of it. I don't want to pretend like it isn't strange to go from being comfortable and focused on what's ahead to acting like there wasn't a past. Who's idea was it anyway to end romantic feelings with a person, but attempt to keep part of them around? Forgive me if it sounds selfish, but I'm the type of person that does things to the fullest extent. If I'm going to have you, I want you in every way. I don't want to tip toe over eggshells of what is and isn't OK anymore.
I think that having people in your life is invaluable. I also think that accepting a person for everything that they can give to enrich your life is incredibly important. There's a reason that it's not working between us, and I can guarantee that those same issues will carry into our "friendship." Feelings for a person don't just dissipate all at once. They erode slowly and carve out a valley where we keep the leftover pieces of whatever it is that we had. Forgive me for deciding that I want you for all that you are or nothing at all.
There's something lovely about you, or we wouldn't be dealing with this dilemma. There's things about you that caught my attention and got me invested in who you are. Regardless of why we're not moving forward in the adventure that is discovering what it is to be a pair, I think that it's for the best of both of our hearts that we be gentle with ourselves. They say all's fair in love and war, but we didn't make it either way. We're floating somewhere in between. So instead of pretending like it's not uncomfortable to suddenly act like we aren't faking the simplicity of keeping part of your feelings for a person, let's be fair with ourselves and each other.
No, we can't still be friends.
