We aren't in high school anymore.
You would think that once you leave high school, you would leave behind a lot more than just the books and the class schedules. You would leave behind the memories, the tragedies, the good times and the bad. You would think you would also leave behind the childish mentality, fighting over texts, the butt hurt feelings, and all the other bullshit that comes with high school, but sadly as I have recently learned from some of my high school classmates, you don't always.
For me personally, it has been really bad lately. Friends trying to start fights with me over texts, trying to be sarcastic and not genuine with their feelings. Trying to make me dance around them and be their little slave until I cave and beg them to forgive me and stay friends with me. People trying to make me feel like I am the smaller person or the lesser to them just because they can use big words or correct punctuation. Well guess what, we aren't in high school anymore.
Social media was made during my years in high school. I can literally remember the exact day I got an Instagram, made my Facebook and when I got Snapchat. I can also remember the day I got a Twitter and I am very happy to say I also remember the day I deleted it. Social media became the hub during my years. Instead of hanging out in person, we would all hang out online together. It sometimes felt like the only purpose to hang out together was to get that perfect photo for my Instagram feed or for a new cover photo on my Facebook.
Because of this, it doesn't surprise me that I am having the issues I am with the people I went to high school with over social media. We went through our most important years, developmentally, online. Writing mean comments to each other, obsessing over our profile photos, subtweeting and posting about each other behind our own backs. This is what we spent our time in high school doing. Huddles behind photo screens and computer screens alike, focused on this online world and everything that happens on it.
Not only does this come from social media, but also just the means of communication we grew up with. We were one of the first generations to have as much direct access to cellphones as we did. A little box that could deliver an iMessage in 2 seconds and be said forever. You can never take it back truly, it's out there and whoever you sent it to, read it at 9:34 PM.
We aren't in high school anymore, so stop acting like we are.
Stop trying to start texts over fights, stop trying to make everything about you, and please, don't try to make it sound like you are the bigger person just because you can appear "calm" in a text when your sarcasm is so clear.
Stop trying to discuss issues over Facebook or Instagram. If you need to talk to me about something important, give me a call. I'll most likely answer. If not, leave me a message and I'll get back to you. It's that simple. There is no need to send me a huge, long text message explaining every little detail and feeling and why you are so mad at me. If you are really mad at me, then handle it the way a mad adult would and chat with me in person. Let's start to leave behind the high school mentality and ways of doing everything over social media. After all, we did graduate two years ago.
Some aren't quite ready to do this. Some didn't go away for school or move out of their parents house and have kind of been stuck in high school ever since they graduated. Some left and went right into university, some went for a while and came home, and some are growing up on their own terms. Because truly, we are all still growing up. Please y'all, just because you turn 18 and then 21 a few years later does not mean you are "grown up."
Some have already moved past the high school ways, some have not. We all will on our own time, but I know for me, when I left high school two years ago, I left all of high school behind. The books, the backpack, the fights, the Twitter account, everything. It's a chapter of my life that is now closed and will remain closed for the rest of my life.
Going away for me helped me move past high school. My parents weren't there to help me at every moment. I had to use my own money to pay for my food, gas, clothes, and anything else I wanted. I couldn't cry to my mom or beg her to help me fix situations between friends. I truly was on my own, doing it all on my own. And I think that helped me grow up and leave high school behind much faster than it did for most of my high school classmates, in my own high school class and classes across the nation.
High school was fun, but just remember as you are now starting your post high school life, you really don't want to be remembered as that one who just couldn't quite grow up with the rest of us. The one who kept on with the social media fighting and story long text messages about your feelings. We may have grown up in the social media generation, but that doesn't mean we can't change our ways of social media as we get older. Wanna talk to me about something that hurt you or is important to you? Great, give me a call. You have my phone number.
We aren't in high school anymore, and it's time to accept that.