If you have ever watched the film or read the novel “The Perks of Being a Wallflower," you will probably recognize the saying “we accept the love we think we deserve.” This is something that has been on my heart a lot lately. The movie and novel portray the quote as accepting love coming from abusive or unhealthy relationships because a person may not believe he or she deserves healthy love; however, I see this quote meaning something quite different. Although life grants us so many blessings and gives us so much to be happy about, some people struggle more than others to recognize the love around them. There are two sides to love, giving love and accepting love. If a person does not believe that they deserve to feel loved, he or she is unable to accept it.
More people struggle with depression and mental illness than others recognize. There are 32,300 undergraduate students enrolled at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities campus. According to a survey conducted in 2011 by the American College Health Association, 30% of students attending a 2 or 4 year university in America reported feeling "so depressed that it was difficult to function" at some point in the past year. If these statistics hold true for the University of Minnesota today, just around 9,600 students have felt severely depressed in the past year.
To put that in perspective, a little over 7,000 more students have felt depressed in the past year than the total number of students involved in Greek life here at the U. Depression, although common, is a serious illness that can affect all aspects of a person’s life and is not something to be ashamed of or put off. The first signs of depression most often appear during the ages of 18 to 24 and are often pushed to the side or mistaken for stress. The earlier a person recognizes his or her symptoms as anxiety or depression, the easier it is to combat the effects of the illness.
So, what can we do to help those who are hurting? Being aware of common signs and symptoms of depression and other mental disorders is the first step. If you notice a friend or family member is withdrawn or going through a low point, being supportive of that person is one of the best things you can do. According to the University website, depression is most often characterized by low energy, mood and self-esteem, as well as a loss of interest in normal, pleasurable activities. If you find yourself stuck in a slump, do not be afraid to reach out to a friend or one of the many resources available to students on campus.
Isolation and hopelessness are two things nobody deserves to feel. Acknowledging those around us and making others feel important are ways that we can continue to lift each other up. There is no way of knowing how the person sitting next to us in lecture or working on a group project with us is feeling. It doesn’t hurt to make small gestures like smiling at people you recognize or saying hi to people in your classes. Be a light in others' lives; it can’t hurt. Keep your love on, people. We accept the love we think we deserve and everyone deserves to feel loved.
For more information on depression and other mental disorders visit the U of M Student Mental Health website or call (612) 624-1444 to reach the Boynton Health Service Mental Heath Clinic on the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities campus.
