In a world full of "bad things" and "bad people" it is difficult to remember that there is in fact good amidst the chaos. In fact, the good can almost be seen as a sort of backdrop to the bad. You can't see one without the other because one without the other would simply be existent-- there would be no polar opposite to compare it to or to necessitate an entirely new word to describe its existence. It might be childish to think of the world in such terms, but it's how we interact with our world every day. How often do you describe something as a "good time" or "not a good time" or say of a person, "She's genuinely a good person," or, "A really just all-around not that great of a girl?"
And it can be a challenge to see good people and good things because of the fog created by such tragedies as humans (the "bad people") willingly taking the lives of other humans. It's sad, but the world is becoming a place dampened by the demeanor of people who can't find any good in each other anymore and it's not fair to those of us who want to find some good that we just "can't."
Fortunately, even in the wake of Brussels (and there is no word in the dictionary that can describe what tragedy occurred there or in Paris, Boston, Palestine, Israel, Ukraine and many other places worldwide for any number of given "reasons"), there really is a way to find good in your fellow man. Through working a variety of jobs and meeting all different types of people, I have been given the privilege to learn just where to find the good in people and I felt the need to share some of them.
1. Empathize with someone on anything.
We always think of empathy when someone is down or something sad has happened, and that the best time to use it is when someone maybe isn't in the best mood. That is true-- the ability to empathize is a great skill to have for when someone is upset, but that isn't the only time you can use it. Be excited with someone over a new baby in the family, feel genuine happiness with them by relating something from your own life with the same feeling in your mind or even aloud if the situation deems it appropriate. You'll find genuinely understanding someone and relating to them on a deep level helps form even stronger connections, but it works with strangers, too. Somehow, reaching that level of comprehension and feeling is so personal that it really, deep down, allows you to connect with the good in someone.
2. Show someone you're thinking of them.
It doesn't have to be a friend or family member, but it can be, because sometimes they're the easiest to think of. Don't even worry about buying someone a gift or taking them out for coffee! Call them, shoot them a text, send them a silly Snapchat selfie or an old picture you found of them. It doesn't have to be a big ordeal to think of someone. You don't even need to say "thinking of you," just have a moment of connection. That said, if it is a stranger that you see struggling with pulling their stroller down a flight of steps, frazzled, looking around for their subway card or short some change at the supermarket and you have the ability to help, offer to help. Sometimes people genuinely don't want it, and that's okay. The smile of appreciation that you will usually get, no matter how embarrassed or nervous it might be, is guaranteed to brighten your day and remind you that not everyone is ungrateful.
3. Let someone tell you a story.
The amount of stories I have gotten to hear from my job is incredible. Just the other day I had the most moving conversation with an older gentleman from Spain who spoke several different languages and taught Latin at a college. Before parting, he bestowed on me some beautiful advice and said at the end, "Maybe we were meant to have this conversation. Maybe this will be your inspiration. It can come from anything-- a line in a book, a conversation in a cafe," and he's right. So while I'm all for you guys going out and chatting up strangers at cafes, I put my own spin on it from my own experience and realized that those moments of connection I mentioned before happen when you let anyone tell you their story. That's why Humans of New York is so incredibly potent to us. Later that same week, I got to meet another gentleman who wasn't even in a good mood but we got to talking about movies and he recommended some (really fantastic, I might add) films he thought I would be interested in. It's like making a friend in every conversation you have and renewing old friendships. Open up your mind and ears to hear a quick story, to understand how a moment in someone's life made them feel. The smiles, laughter and genuine conversation you get out of practicing this push the kind nature of humanity practically in your face.
4. Recognize we all have bad days, and try to make someone laugh.
Someone is allowed to feel upset, angry or frustrated. How many times has someone done something nice for you or said some kind words and you haven't shown your appreciation? You probably don't remember, because we all want to think the best of ourselves and also because moments like that don't necessarily stick out in our head. That said, you can still do something nice for a friend or family member and be happy knowing it was probably just a bad day. If you genuinely know they are a good person, there is no reason to take their words or grumpy face to heart. Recognizing flaws is okay, and it doesn't diminish your faith in humanity. It really just brightens it because you can realize that maybe not all of those grumpy faces on the street belong to grumpy people-- they might just belong to people with bad days, and then you see that not everyone is all dark and gloomy all of the time.
5. Smile on the street/in the hallway.
This is the least invasive and the most important thing anyone can do. One happy person cheers up a whole neighborhood. I'm not saying smile at the taxi driver who almost just ran you over (though maybe don't yell, "I'm walking here!" either), but a casual smile if you make eye contact with someone or a friendly wave if it's a neighbor you are familiar with goes a long way. People say it all of the time, but look back to high school and remember when you were having a rough day and your best friend made eye contact with you across the hall on the way to class and smiled or made a funny face. It really brightened you up, but it doesn't always have to be your best friend. It can be you to a stranger or a stranger to you. It makes you seem more inviting, too, and that helps other people feel the warmth of "humanity isn't really terrible after all." It targets you to be a happy young woman in New York (if you're unfamiliar with the feeling, just picture a bunch of tourists with maps of every size, shape and color asking you how to get somewhere you didn't even know existed), but that's not a bad thing. Being recognized as a good person is just going to attract other good people and you will all be happy together-- that's a good reason to smile if anything.
No, the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Bad things happen, sometimes to good people, and we are allowed to feel sad, upset, scared or even angry. Reality is allowed to be real-- it has to be real. Humans have the ability to do many terrible and cruel things, and that is far from "okay," but it is important to see the good, too. By changing your own outlook, you get the chance to really see people for the positive, and that's a much happier world to live in.
