Insecurities and problems with self-worth: everyone has them. I’m not kidding. That person who you see as the most confident person in the world has them. Your neighbor has them. Your parents have them. Insecurities and problems are especially prevalent and teens and young adults. This can be seen as a social problem.
However, in this day and age, people have been drawing back in on themselves, going back to the drawing board and figuring out how to live and feel better. You may have heard the term ‘self-love’ being thrown around. Self-love means exactly what it says: the love one holds for their self. It pertains to one’s regard of their own well-being and happiness. A lot of people, mostly the generation that fits in the 18-25 age bracket, have been reevaluating themselves and learning to love who they are.
There are so many ways to begin this journey, though no one really knows where to start. The truth is that there isn’t a designated starting point aside from deciding that you want to feel better about yourself. There are, however, a few key things that you must do in order to get moving and to keep it moving.
Learn to love your presence. Learn to be on your own. There is so much that you haven’t discovered about yourself, and sometimes you are in need of yourself more than you are in need of your friends. Read a book, Take a longer shower. Go for a walk without any music playing. o one knows you better than you do, so have a date with yourself. Stop looking for other people’s company and approval and look to yourself from time to time.
Become more aware of the things that effect you. Don’t hold things in, and stop letting the things that bother you roll off of your shoulders just for it to be the thing keeping you up at night. Think about why you felt the way you did and whether the actions taken were intended to hurt you or not. Get down to the root of it so that you can either deal with it better next time or avoid it entirely.
Start taking care of yourself physically. From working out to slathering your skin in coconut oil, taking care of yourself physically is beneficial to your mentality. Working out boosts your mood and the feeling of accomplishment after you’ve completed your work out is definitely worth it. Taking care of yourself in the aspects of beauty counts! Taking a little extra time in the shower to exfoliate your skin and adding more water and fruit to your diet will shift your physical and mental appearance. When your body is happy, you might be happy, too.
Expel those negative comments you make about yourself and learn to accept compliments. It’s hard at first. You don’t even realize how much you scrutinize yourself until your best friend is giving you the look. You all know what look I’m talking about. Take note of this during your next conversation. If someone gives you a positive compliment, and you retort with a “Thanks, but…” or anything close to that, then you’ve got yourself a small problem. I know it’s easier to just play it off or shy away when someone says compliments you. Try this the next time that someone compliments you: say thank you and leave it at that. It’s strange. Your brain is going to scream at you to fill the silence or to downplay your response, but don’t listen to your brain. Let that feeling you get when someone compliments you fill you up. It’s okay if it boosts your confidence.
Push out bad people. Period. This shouldn’t be explained. Bad people bring bad vibes and bad thoughts. Now, I don’t mean those people that get you into trouble all the time and do things that they’re not supposed to. I mean the people who don’t make you feel good at all. Some people thrive on bringing other people down, filling their heads with thoughts that make other people like they’re not worthy. It may seem harmless, but it actually does a lot of damage to self-esteems and can often take you down a dangerous path of self-destruction. There are various types of bad people, but take note that it’s usually the friend that you feel at your lowest around. Ouch. If you have someone like that in your life, then kick them to the curve.
Do more of that thing you love so much. Treat yourself. Nothing is better than sitting in your living room and finally finishing that book you love so much, or writing that second chapter to the book that’s been on your mind all year. Doing things that you love can be beneficial to your state of mind while providing an outlet for your thoughts and emotions. So, if you love baking, then go ahead and dedicate your day to baking those cakes you saw in those Instagram tutorials. Treat yourself to some of that cake and a mini shopping spree after that. You deserve it.
Forgive yourself. You know those times where you’re lying in your bed and cringing at random memories? Yeah. Forgive yourself. Those memories of yourself come from a time where you were naïve, or when you didn’t make the best choices. Holding onto those memories and beating yourself up over them does nothing but lower yourself esteem and make you a little insecure. So, let it go. Laugh it off. Keep it moving. I promise, it’s not as bad as you think it is.
And last, but not least: stop looking for other people’s approval. Stop it now. No one else’s opinion of you matters. So what if your mom doesn’t like your green hair? So what if your dad doesn’t think you’re a real artist? It doesn’t matter! At the end of the day, you are your own person and you have your own thoughts, emotions, dreams, and opinions of yourself. Feedback and critical comments are appreciated when they’re for the right reasons, but there is no need to acknowledge negativity from another person or to center your life and actions around someone else’s opinion of you. So, stop looking for their approval! Please yourself and know that that is enough.
As a person who has survived the harsh realities that growing up brought on, the honest truth is that trying to change the way you treat and see yourself is no walk in the park. No one can really help you, and people can’t do anything more than hold your hand or give you a bit of advice because self-love is a journey traveled alone, although having supportive friends is always a plus. It’s a rode traveled alone, but it’s not lonely if it’s done right by you.
The journey to self-love never really ends, but loving yourself is probably one of the best decisions you will ever make in your life.
