how to know if a guy likes you

No, Really, He's Just NOT That Into You, Here Are 6 Ways To Know

Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise.

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Ladies, let's be honest with ourselves, we're smart. We know when something's not right or when someone's not feeling us. That gut feeling isn't worry or being anxious — it's an instinct. Use it.

Often when we get that gut feeling, we go to our friends for advice. "He's left me on delivered for three hours but he was active 20 minutes ago," "He said he couldn't hang out tonight because he's busy, even though he said he was free earlier today," "He only asks me to hang out late at night, but he just has a lot going on during the day," and so on.

We sound crazy trying to analyze someone's thoughts and intentions.

Bless our friends' souls, they'll come up with reasons that make SO much sense, and we'll be like "Omg okay you're totally right I just need to chill."

The truth is, although they have the best intentions, our friends aren't doing us any favors by trying to think of plausible excuses. Most of the time our gut feelings are right and instead of trying to settle them we should accept them and move on from there.

If he doesn't do the following things, then he's just not that into you.

1. If he doesn't call or text you first

I'm not saying he always has to be the first one, but it should go both ways. If you realize that the two of you only talk when you initiate it first, he's just not that into you.

2. If you're not a priority 

Hey, quick reminder! If he wants to talk to or be with you, he will.

He will let you know when he can't talk for a while, he will have good energy when you do talk, and he will talk to you whenever he can. You should be with a guy who LOVES talking to you, and I'm not saying you have to talk all day 24/7. If he's constantly talking to other people and leaving you on delivered for hours, you're not a priority.

If he wants to see you, he will see you. People make time for who they want to make time for. Yes, the guy you're seeing does have a life outside of you, but there is a big difference between making time and just fitting you into his time. The right guy will make the effort.

If you find yourself feeling like a convenience and not a priority, he's just not that into you.

3. If he's only asking you to hangout at night

...you're a booty call. If you only hang out at either of your houses, it's just a hookup. Sorry, but it's not that hard to go get coffee or lunch during the day. It's not like he has to pay for everything or take you to a fancy restaurant. If a guy likes you he will want to make actual plans with you. If he doesn't spend time with you during the day, he's just not that into you.

4. If he's actively talking to another girl

"Just Friends" is a tough one because most girls know how both sides of a 'just friends' relationship work. I like having friends that are guys because you can drive around listening to music talking about whatever without listening to a 10-minute rant about how Chad is sending mixed signals. I love my friends that are girls, they're absolutely amazing, but sometimes it's nice to switch things up. My guy friends are friends for a reason and I appreciate them for always being there for me, but I would never get in the way of them having a relationship with a girl.

On the flip side, even if you completely trust your guy, it's hard to trust other girls because you never know their true intentions. The way I see it is that if the two of them have never dated or hooked up, and they were friends before you started dating, then I trust the girl-friend. Don't be fooled though by the, "Oh don't worry about her, she's just a friend," if he's blatantly flirting with her.

Of course, make sure to communicate any of your doubts about the friendship to him before jumping to any conclusions.

If he's actively flirting with another girl, he's just not that into you.

5. If he's not honest with you 

If you catch him being shady or making excuses for his actions or lack thereof, he's just not that into you.

6. If he isn't putting in the time or effort

You deserve more than second thoughts and maybes. You deserve more than late night "wyd" or "you up" Snapchats. You deserve more than feeling the need to check the Snapchat map or beg your friends for excuses as to why he's not talking to you. If you have to second guess his intentions and overanalyze his words and actions, he's just not that into you.

Bottom line: put your feelings aside and ask yourself, "If I was being treated like this by a guy I didn't like, would I still be talking to him?" If the answer is no, then move along. Stop making excuses for things that you know are red flags. If your gut feeling tells you that he's just not into you, then honey, he's just not that into you.

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13 Movies Every Couple Needs To Watch Before They Get Married

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories.

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These 13 movies are the foundation of any long-lasting relationship, and I'm not joking. Each movie will show you something new about your partner, and make you ask each other the hard questions. How many kids do you want and how are you going to raise them? What would happen if you got into a horrible accident? Some are less serious though, like what if you could time travel?

I promise that not every one of these movies is a Nicholas Sparks classic, and I also promise that not every movie has Rachel McAdams in it!

1. "The Time Traveler's Wife"

This movie is both heartbreaking and amazing.

2. "About Time"

Let's be honest, Rachel McAdams is in all the best love stories. It's on Netflix right now, so grab some snacks and turn it on!

3. "Like Crazy"

This infamous Tumblr gif came from "Like Crazy." It's about a couple who goes long distance and build their life together. I used to cry every time I watched it, and I'm no crier! It also has the (now famous) Felicity Jones in it.

4. "The Notebook"

Every girl wants this kind of love.

5. "The Last Song"

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are literally married now so if that isn't good luck, I don't know what is.

6. "Safe Haven"

You guessed it! This is another Nicholas Sparks classic. This movie has a dark twist as well, which men will love.

7. "Inside Out"

You may be thinking that this one is a bit weird. Well, this movie will help both you and your partner understand each other's emotions better.

8. "The Choice"

This movie is great because the female lead is feisty and extremely intelligent, which usually doesn't happen in love stories. How do you keep the love alive with a woman who is hard to get, and even harder to keep entertained?

9. "The Longest Ride"

Originally I could not stand the main female lead (Britt Robertson) but now she is in one of my favorite shows (For The People), so I have no choice. This movie had me on the end of my seat, and as a rom-com it is a must.

10. "The Age Of Adaline"

I began loving the name 'Adaline' thanks to this movie. This unlikely love story and self love journey really gets me.

11. "The Vow"

Imagine falling in love with someone and building a life, but an accident forces you to start all over?

12. "Titanic"

If they don't have any sort of reaction to this movie, they are probably not the one for you.

13. "Yours, Mine, & Ours"

Yours, Mine, & Ours is a true classic. Are you Helen or Frank Beardsley? You should figure that out before you tie the knot!

You're welcome!

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Being A Military Wife Is Not The Same As Serving In Active Duty

It's about balance, and it's hard to find a happy medium between serving and supporting your spouse.

yahairas
yahairas
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I enlisted into the United States Air Force as a fresh-faced 18-year-old. I had just graduated high school and never experienced life on my own, away from what I knew and my loved ones and friends. The military was my first legitimate job. Thankfully, I knew independence since I had parents that ensured I knew how to handle myself. That does not mean I joined knowing everything there was to know. Far from it, actually, but that's OK.

My first and only duty station was Malmstrom Air Force Base. Before you think that Malmstrom is some exotic and foreign land, it's definitely not. My first base was in Montana. A very cold and unpredictable climate where you could experience beautiful summer sunshine one day and the next, find yourself running back up to your room to escape from the unexpected blizzard.

I was stationed in Montana as a security forces member (military police) for six very long years. During this time, I met some wonderful people as well as some people I know I would not mind never seeing again. I did a lot of my growing up at this location.

There were hard lessons that needed to be learned and experiences that I had to have in order to know what and what not to do in the future. Security forces is not the easiest or best job in the military. There are more challenges as a security forces member than most careers in the Air Force. There is the very likely chance of deployment into hostile locations where the member will face life and death challenges and have to make quick and ugly decisions and the schedule and duties are not ideal.

However, the good often outweighs the bad. The rewards for surpassing these challenges that seemed insurmountable at the time are some of the best in the world. I can say that the life lessons during my time in the service, no matter how uncomfortable it was at the time, is an experience of a lifetime. These challenges are unknown to the military spouse.

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Not long after separating from the military, I got married. We met while I was still in the military. My husband is still active duty in the Air Force, turning me into a military wife and dependent. It was a different role to take, knowing how many people in the military viewed military spouses. I found myself in a different bracket or tier than a lot of people. I was a military wife that was prior military. I understand the challenges my husband still undergoes in his enlistment because I knew the military life at one point. I did not have to be introduced into the military and the way it works blindly.

Throughout my enlistment, there were stories and jokes regarding military spouses, with emphasis on the military wife. Even now that I am no longer in the service, I still see memes on social media where military wives serve as a running joke. The jokes involving weight, attractiveness, infidelity or wives wearing the rank of their military spouse while attempting to utilize what power that rank may hold. Due to the stories I heard while I was in, I had a pre-conceived idea of what to expect as a military spouse. Some of the stories and jokes came from a center of truth. However, the stigma for a military wife would follow any and all military wives no matter the validity or lack thereof.

Photo of Yahaira Seawright at her Airman Leadership school graduation Yahaira Seawright

When I became a military wife, I wanted to make sure I did not fall under that stereotype. Becoming the dependent gave me something else to consider. It gave me the unheard side of those military spouses. There are so many challenges that we also face while being married to the military.

For example, we pick up and go at a moment's notice and often leave our careers behind if our spouses get moved. This makes it really hard to make friends and connections with other people. Plus, there's the reality that our spouses could lose their lives serving for our country.

A lot of the time, we become a single parent when our spouses are deployed. If we do go with, finding employment is really competitive and hard to do at all. It's hard on both of us because neither party will ever truly understand why things are done a certain way. Some things just aren't fair and that's a hard reality to deal with.

So, yes, the service of the military member is the military member's service, not ours. That fact does not mean we do not have our own sacrifices we made when we decided to marry into the military family.

The experience of the military member and the military spouse are two different sides, but they're both equally important.

yahairas
yahairas

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