Ladies, let's be honest with ourselves, we're smart. We know when something's not right or when someone's not feeling us. That gut feeling isn't worry or being anxious — it's an instinct. Use it.
Often when we get that gut feeling, we go to our friends for advice. "He's left me on delivered for three hours but he was active 20 minutes ago," "He said he couldn't hang out tonight because he's busy, even though he said he was free earlier today," "He only asks me to hang out late at night, but he just has a lot going on during the day," and so on.
We sound crazy trying to analyze someone's thoughts and intentions.
Bless our friends' souls, they'll come up with reasons that make SO much sense, and we'll be like "Omg okay you're totally right I just need to chill."
The truth is, although they have the best intentions, our friends aren't doing us any favors by trying to think of plausible excuses. Most of the time our gut feelings are right and instead of trying to settle them we should accept them and move on from there.
If he doesn't do the following things, then he's just not that into you.
1. If he doesn't call or text you first
I'm not saying he always has to be the first one, but it should go both ways. If you realize that the two of you only talk when you initiate it first, he's just not that into you.
2. If you're not a priority
Hey, quick reminder! If he wants to talk to or be with you, he will.
He will let you know when he can't talk for a while, he will have good energy when you do talk, and he will talk to you whenever he can. You should be with a guy who LOVES talking to you, and I'm not saying you have to talk all day 24/7. If he's constantly talking to other people and leaving you on delivered for hours, you're not a priority.
If he wants to see you, he will see you. People make time for who they want to make time for. Yes, the guy you're seeing does have a life outside of you, but there is a big difference between making time and just fitting you into his time. The right guy will make the effort.
If you find yourself feeling like a convenience and not a priority, he's just not that into you.
3. If he's only asking you to hangout at night
...you're a booty call. If you only hang out at either of your houses, it's just a hookup. Sorry, but it's not that hard to go get coffee or lunch during the day. It's not like he has to pay for everything or take you to a fancy restaurant. If a guy likes you he will want to make actual plans with you. If he doesn't spend time with you during the day, he's just not that into you.
4. If he's actively talking to another girl
"Just Friends" is a tough one because most girls know how both sides of a 'just friends' relationship work. I like having friends that are guys because you can drive around listening to music talking about whatever without listening to a 10-minute rant about how Chad is sending mixed signals. I love my friends that are girls, they're absolutely amazing, but sometimes it's nice to switch things up. My guy friends are friends for a reason and I appreciate them for always being there for me, but I would never get in the way of them having a relationship with a girl.
On the flip side, even if you completely trust your guy, it's hard to trust other girls because you never know their true intentions. The way I see it is that if the two of them have never dated or hooked up, and they were friends before you started dating, then I trust the girl-friend. Don't be fooled though by the, "Oh don't worry about her, she's just a friend," if he's blatantly flirting with her.
Of course, make sure to communicate any of your doubts about the friendship to him before jumping to any conclusions.
If he's actively flirting with another girl, he's just not that into you.
5. If he's not honest with you
If you catch him being shady or making excuses for his actions or lack thereof, he's just not that into you.
6. If he isn't putting in the time or effort
You deserve more than second thoughts and maybes. You deserve more than late night "wyd" or "you up" Snapchats. You deserve more than feeling the need to check the Snapchat map or beg your friends for excuses as to why he's not talking to you. If you have to second guess his intentions and overanalyze his words and actions, he's just not that into you.
Bottom line: put your feelings aside and ask yourself, "If I was being treated like this by a guy I didn't like, would I still be talking to him?" If the answer is no, then move along. Stop making excuses for things that you know are red flags. If your gut feeling tells you that he's just not into you, then honey, he's just not that into you.