The holidays can be hard, especially when you get together with all of those relatives that you never talk to because you hate them, or you just never talk to them, whatever. I've compiled some helpful hints to help get you through this holiday season without having to tell your entire life story to all of your annoying relatives and you can enjoy your meals in peace.
1) Deflect and/or Insult
The ever famous "Thanksgiving clap back" is the easiest and most effective way to avoid answering those questions. These can be tricky, however, because the opportunity has to present itself. You can't force a clap back on your aunt for asking if you want more potatoes. If you can't insult based off of the question asked, just deflect it by asking another question or asking the person next to you the same question.
2) Take a huge bite of food and chew slowly
Do this in the hopes that someone will strike up a conversation and the question-asker will get distracted and forget they ever asked, or get distracted long enough that you can leave and eat your dinner in the bathroom.
3) Die
This is the only sure fire way to never have to answer questions from relatives during Thanksgiving again. Also, thank you to Fiona's father for properly showing how to die.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
