One of the most difficult things to do is watch somebody that you love make an awful decision. You know very well that the choice your close friend, family member, or significant other is pursuing has the high potential for negative outcomes and goes against their typical value preferences, yet you have to sit back and let them keep going because it is not your life.
However, simply watching the unintelligent choice unravel affects you as a spectator, maybe not in the same way that it is affecting your loved one, but still to a degree that leaves you contemplating the situation, struggling to understand it, and feeling a wide range of emotions.
What can you do when you are not even sure what you should do?
Simply stepping back and witnessing someone's choices come to reality with the repercussions that you definitely had a bad inkling would come to fruition actually occur is difficult to come to terms with. You know that whatever is happening should not be happening due to one (or several) bad decisions somebody near and dear to your heart has made.
However, you also know that you cannot reprimand this person for their choices; after all, it is their life that they are living, not you.
The difficulties associated with accepting their bad choices arise from the strong feelings that you have towards this person. The love you have for important people in your life may go as far as donating one of your perfectly functioning organs to them, if needed; so, it's safe to say that you are going to cringe when they decide to follow through with decisions that they may have not completely thought out.
It is necessary that, as the spectator, you realize it is perfectly normal to feel disappointed, disgusted, and depressed when the pursuit of bad decisions are made by those who you infinitely care about; these feelings are only happening because you truly want only the best for these people.
Nevertheless, no matter how you are feeling as the spectator, it is even more important that you learn how to accept your feelings, the decision that was made, and how to move on from this point in time. Your loved one must have a reason for partaking in the action that they did, even if you cannot seem to understand it at first. Just because their choice is not identical with how you would live your life, does not mean that you, as the spectator, should give this situation the power to dictate your mindset.
Try not to judge your loved one; rather, take the time to listen to them and ask questions in a positive manner in an attempt to absolve your ignorance to this situation. Being understanding, even when you do not agree with the outcome, proves your maturity level. Especially if people know that they shouldn't have done what they did, then they are not going to want to be reminded relentlessly about what happened. As the spectator, you should figure out how to reiterate that you are here for this person so they are certain that they have a safe place to reside rather than the added stress of dealing with more emotional stress from you.
In conclusion, it is by no means fair at all for you, as the spectator, to have to endure watching somebody who you would go above and beyond for in a heartbeat suffer the negative consequences of their bad choice. Yet, you have to realize that it is also not fair for you to judge their poor decision makings skills; rather, you should take this time to express your feelings and concerns to them and ask questions in an attempt to learn from this situation.
After all, everyone makes mistakes; plus, who's to say that the choice you would have personally made wouldn't be challenged by others as well?
