Before I begin, I want to address my survivors who have pushed yourself to click this link. My sister or my brother, you are still living, breathing, dating (or trying to) and socializing. I love you. You are awesome.

I will use the word 'rape' instead of 'sexual assault'. I will say things that may hurt the average reader and might sure trigger survivors. I want those of you who have not experienced rape to fight through and read this as closely as you can.. It's time to get a grasp of what's happening to those around you, so your words and actions may not come across as insensitive.

Some time ago,a video was posted of a fifteen year old African American child being raped by a police officer in her cell. This is article is not written to address the video, but to address the rape itself, among other things. In light of everything that is going on in our great nation, this video was circulating fast. I just kept passing it. I ended up logging off, because I couldn’t deal with it, the person I become when I am triggered by anger or anxiety. However, I decided to log back on. I felt it was necessary to explain to my friends how I was feeling and why I hoped they would understand. Before I actually got the chance to post the status, I had a full blown anxiety attack on the bathroom floor. This is my life, and the life of many survivors.

Rape culture is something I think I should explain. It is not as easy as just telling myself that my rape is in the past and shouldn't affect me in the present. It is simple psychology. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder isn't just affecting our veterans. PTSD is for anyone who has experienced a traumatic event that has a lasting impact, like rape.This is what my doctor explained to me as well as psychology teacher. This article is an opportunity to share my story and a chance to begin a conversation about rape culture and rape all together.

First, I would like to draw you deeper into the daily life of some survivors so you may understand why rape culture-yes it is a thing-affects us so deeply. Believe it or not, in this moment, someone in the world is being raped, and even more people will become victims by the time you finish this article.

How survivors live: In their words

Me: Since living alone again I have woken up screaming twice. I have only lived in this new apartment for only two weeks now. I have a cat as an emotional support animal and I cannot date normally. I cannot walk to my car alone at night without singing or praying to myself, and I always feel inadequate as a woman.

Survivor 1: "I have an escape plan at my own house."

Survivor 2: "I am a prisoner to my own home, to my own bed. I hate going home when school is out. I fucking hate that shit."

Survivor 3: "I had an anxiety attack because I smelled the same scent he wore. I was literally just walking into the store."

Survivor 4: "I had to leave class (I am a psych major) because we started talking about sexual assault. I want to help others but sometimes I can’t even help myself."

Survivor 5: "I have thought about killing myself because I don’t want to have to tell someone and have them think it was my fault."

Survivor 6: "How can I ever trust a man again? How can I fall in love and live with him? Or sleep peacefully and know i am truly safe when I tell him I am not in the mood?"

Survivor 7: "If my husband and I have a daughter, I might have to divorce him because my mom trusted my dad with me, and now look at me. You think you know a man because you loved him and lived with him all these years."

Survivor 8: "I don’t remember all of it and I don’t want to. I may have to kill myself if I ever find out."

What is 'Rape Culture'?

Rape culture is defined as, "setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture

What is rape?

According to Webster's Dictionary, rape is defined as: "unlawful sexual activity and sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent."

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rape

What are example of rape culture and how do they affect survivors?

Let's start with the myths about rape culture: men can’t be raped.

Men can be raped and men can be raped by women. This belief makes current survivors feel like they do not have a legitimate reason to feel the way they do. Ths affect the healing process and can often be psychologically damaging. Men are people who hurt and feel too. We often forget that as a society.

She deserved it/ She was asking for it.

Please refer back to the definition of rape. One cannot 'ask' to be raped. That is called sex. No one is inferring that they want to raped when the dress a certain way. Do you believe a woman should dress modestly? You're entitled to your own opinion. However, a woman's wardrobe, no matter how revealing, does not imply consent. Ever.

I changed my mind on what I wanted to eat literally twice a day when my ex-boyfriend and I lived together. There were times when he would have already started cooking dinner, and I would decide I wanted something different five minutes later. Did he tie me to a chair and force feed me?

Obviously not.

A woman does not deserve being raped because she changes her mind about having sex. I know you're thinking these two situations are too different to be compared, and the principle is the same. Violently forcing another person to have sex, in some cases when they are beating within an inch of their life, is a much more damning and fundamentally fucked up situation. A woman's life should not be forever changed because she decided not to have sex.

She learned her lesson

There is no lesson to be learned by a woman who changes her mind. People change their minds all the time. Sex is not a life or death scenario, and no one ought to be put in a life threatening situation because the other person is disappointed they didn't get laid. That is not a lesson, that is madness. People have free will. As long as a decision does not harm another person, you are free to do that. We need to understand that as a society. We cannot force anyone to do anything, especially when it comes to a sexual act.

What did she think was going to happen? She's just a tease.

No one goes out and says: "I'm going to have a great night out on the town with my friends, get drugged by a stranger and raped in the parking lot." Some might say a woman should take precautions, or simply avoid going out because she could be sexually assaulted. But why should women limit themselves because of what 'might happen'? Women should not have to live in fear of sexual assault. Instead of placing the burden of precaution on women, we need to take consent seriously as a society, and teach future generations to respect the rights of others, especially when it comes to sexuality.

Finally, stop dehumanizing the victim and babying the rapist. Brock Turner is a prime example of this. Letting the rapist play the victim while actual victims have to live in fear and degradation is the epitome of rape culture.

This is what I live with everyday. This is what millions of survivors who choose to keep living, live with everyday. A single video sent me into a whirlwind of a week, and pushed me into writing this article. We have a lot of work that need to be done in this country concerning rape.

Let's get to work.