Every summer when late July comes around and August is just around the corner, I find myself in a panic. I realize that summer is coming to an end and school will be starting soon. I wonder whether I've made the best of my summer.
Flash back to the second week of May. On the walk back to my practically-bare dorm room after my last final exam, I dreamed of the things I would do this summer. I saw myself lounging in my backyard with a big glass of lemonade, reading a good book and getting a nice tan. I imagined all the hidden wonders of my town I'd find upon exploring all day. I began to plan the adorable dinner parties I'd throw with my friends. I saw road trips, concerts, festivals and countless memories.
Fast forward to my late-July panic. While I have done some fun things and had several cool experiences this summer, I feel like I'm missing something or that I haven't achieved my summer goals. Between having a job, writing for The Odyssey weekly, going on a mission trip, trying to make time for friends and family and visiting my long-distance boyfriend, it seems that I haven't had time to get that tan, read that book, explored that one place or attended that event. With this feeling of discontent, I can't help but wonder, have I wasted my summer?
In order to answer my panic-induced question and (hopefully) find peace of mind, I took a look at my summer bucket list, reflected on the past few months and evaluated the things that I have done. Upon doing so, I realized that my summer has been much more than what I had originally thought it was.
To my surprise, I realized that I have done several of the things I wanted to this summer. I was able to cross a good amount of activities off of my bucket list, which I found great satisfaction in. As I scanned the list and crossed things off, I was flooded with memories. With each thing I had done, I remembered the faces of the people I was with, the sounds that surrounded us, the way I felt in that atmosphere, as well as the conversations and laughs I shared with them. In having this experience, I was able to understand that it didn't matter whether I was on the beach or sitting on the couch; rather, the relationships that were strengthened and the happiness that was brought to me is what counts.
It appeared to me that while I may not have had the most exciting and exhilarating of summers, I have most definitely had a meaningful one. I have been blessed with amazing friends whom I have only grown closer to this summer, I was able to spend time with my family and genuinely enjoy it for the first time since my angsty teen years began and I have learned plenty of important lessons and skills that will help me excel in my future. I also have had incredible opportunities to grow and further explore who I truly am and who I am meant to be. All these things seemed so small to me when they happened day-by-day, but as I reflect on them I am able to understand the great blessings that they have been.
In response to my late July panic-induced question about whether I am wasting my summer, my answer is absolutely not. Sure, it'd be nice to have a better tan or to go on more adventures, but I am choosing to be happy with the things I've been given and continue to count my blessings. My late July panic has ceased, and so I remind myself that the summer is not over yet.
