When I first started writing on Odyssey, I was a completely different person publicly. And by that, I mean on my social media, to my family, "friends", and mostly because it was Facebook official.

Yes, I'm young in age, 22 to be exact but when I tell you I was ready, I really thought I was ready to settle down and that would just be the end of my single days as I know it. And that was ok. That was perfect. It was kismet as dumb as that sounds.

We met suddenly, fell in love so fast, and loved each other like we were all we had. To a fault. We created a new world around each other and kind of isolated the rest of the world. It was perfectly clingy in our heads because when you fall in love that's all that you need. You forget about everything else including your life before each other. We were painfully codependent but didn't care. We were blinded by love and eclipsed by each other, therefore we didn't see all of the toxicity because all of the bad outweighed the good in theory.

Again not the healthiest, but it's honestly how it was. We would joke that we met each other when we needed each other but that wasn't good for us nor anyone.

I am living proof that when you make someone your everything and lose them, you end up with nothing.

Don't take that the wrong way. I'm fine. I'm completely at peace.

Like in friends when Rachel is in love with Ross and he doesn't know. So Phoebe sets her up on a blind date where she gets hammered and calls him to say "AND THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL CLOSURE".

I feel that on a whole new level, without the booze.

So anyways, I've talked about my journey to self-love and finding closure on my blog and Odyssey articles before but never about how it was when we were together.

Of course, it was sad. We both cried because it's so sad to end something that was once so great. But in all honesty, we knew it was over long before it actually was. We were growing distant instead of closer. No one to blame just something that happened.

No, I have not posted anything on my social media about being shattered or scorned. I haven't deleted our pictures. I haven't been resentful or petty because I don't feel mad, sad or anything negative.

In reality, it's a part of my life. A HUGE part of my life and even though we aren't together I'm not going to throw a fit publicly and make a scene.

I did that when we were together and I regret it so much because so many people saw the bad instead of the good.

I live a very open and public life with no filter or regrets when it comes to sharing my day to day. But some things need to be private in order for you to adequately heal.

Regardless of how it ended I definitely don't regret how it started or went the distance because it taught me so much.

Before him, I was SO cold. And even though I'm single again, it taught me that I regardless of how numb I may seem, I CAN still love and learn to be loved. It taught me to give my all into something other than myself. It taught me to be patient and compassionate. It taught me to listen and to speak up. It taught me that I can do monogamy and that the idea of a white picket fence life isn't all bad. But mostly it taught me that you CANT love someone else if you don't love yourself.

So no, I don't regret it. It's perfectly fine to fall in love fast and love every minute of it. And anyone that tells you being in love isn't the best feeling on earth has either been hurt or hasn't been there before.

But honestly right now, I'm in the honeymoon stage with myself and I'm loving every second of every day.

P.S. if you want a long term relationship, fall in love with yourself, doll. 💋