Because of you...
I Am Strong.
I Am Independent.
I Am Brave.
But I also worry...
About being alone.
About being loved.
About being accepted.
You did this to me and now I have to deal with the consequences. The first man a girl is supposed to love is her father, but how can that be when you left. Loving someone with an absent father is different than loving any other girl, for a few different reasons.
When you first start dating, everything will seem normal. You two will go on fun dates and laugh all the time. When things start to get more serious that is when you will notice a difference. She will avoid any conversation about her family, and growing up. And when she has to talk about it her voice will get shaky; holding back tears trying to explain your true feelings about that situation. But she still won't tell you everything. She doesn't want that attention, she doesn't want that title of being fatherless.
She is terrified that one day her significant other will just up and leave. She will have her guard up, but who doesn't. If a man can walk out on his entire family, what says a guy won't walk out on his girlfriend. You never know what might happen and that is the scariest thing to think about.
What is going to happen on her wedding day? Every girl dreams of that perfect day, with the perfect man waiting at the end of the isle. But who will walk her down the isle, cause it sure as hell won't be her "father." There are many other men in her life that are perfectly capable of holding that father figure status, but it will not be the same.
When the time comes and she finally lets someone in, they will be lucky. But they must be strong minded too, cause I am sure that she will not make it easy to love and understand her. Yet, once that happens she will worry for your future children. She wishes her daughter has everything that she did not have. She wishes her daughter will be a true daddy's girl, because that is something she did not get the chance to experience.
Now I probably know what you are thinking. "Why don't you reach out to him?" And there is one simple answer to that. I am tired of being the adult in this relationship between us. That was your role, but you didn't take that responsibility, I had to. So when you are ready to sit and fix things, maybe I will be too. But for now I am stuck living my life with the result of your actions many, many years ago.
