I'm an all or nothing girl. Maybe it's from the overabundance pep talks from parents over the years, but mediocrity and unfinished projects really bother me. I grew up hearing a myriad of phrases that all fall within the same theme: Do your best and never give up.

My parents weren't ever receptive to my nor my brother's excuses so naturally we began to internalize this and do this for ourselves. This was fairly good advice. It worked for me in school, in sports, and for most areas of my life except for relationships.

I couldn't exactly put my finger on why it never seemed to work and it bothered me. My thinking of everything was rather linear. If I do X then I should receive X. But once again, life has had to remind me that hard work isn't the only key ingredient for a successful relationship.

It doesn’t matter my level of persistence. Relationships can end for a variety of different reasons however, it typically results from one or both partners uncovering a deal breaker. No amount of persistence or talking through issues can change the fact that you or someone else may not be getting what they need for what they consider a fulfilling relationship.

This can be incredibly annoying because it's sometimes a lot easier to walk away when someone has done something to hurt you. Hurt has a way of mobilizing us to action faster than any other method, because most it's far more easier to be reactive rather than proactive. However, . We should all feel comfortable being transparent with our partners about what is we need and if they can't give that to us then it's completely valid and understandable to leave.

Ending a relationship is easier said than done. I think it’s especially difficult for decisive people because you may find yourself questioning if you were ever in the correct head space and like you wasted your own time.

I've had to re frame what walking away from a person means. Choosing to leave doesn't make someone any less ambitious or goal oriented. Being flexible about how to achieve your goals is key, but being flexible with your core values isn't. Because if your "core values" change or shift based on a situation then they aren't core values.

This by no means to say that it’s super easy or simple to walk away from a relationship. It’s easy to focus on the moments of pure bliss because relationships aren’t always unhealthy or always healthy. Relationships aren't binary but rather exist on a scale where you alongside your partner must decide what it looks like.

What I wish someone had told me was that giving up isn't synonymous with giving up for nothing in return. Sometimes giving up something is simply making room in your life for something exceedingly better.