Just recently I was making my way up the West Coast, venturing from Phoenix, AZ up to Portland, OR by car. As you can imagine, this trip would require many gas station stops to refuel and stretch our locked limbs. However, pulling into a Fresno, CA gas station was not just like any other pit stop during this trip. To my disgust, I noticed this appalling statue placed at the front of the gas station.
If you can tell, the male statue is holding a liquor bottle while — what seems to be — harassing this female statue in yellow. Body language can often tell you more than words themselves. Here, you can see that this woman feels vulnerable, as she has locked her body, clenched her books, and averted her eyes. Now, when you analyze the man's body language, he has taken up a larger amount of space on the bench and has asserted control over his space. Note his arm hanging on the bench, just close enough to the woman and his feet are set far apart. He has also opened his body frame to be pointed toward the woman — a way of asserting his presence.
Yes, this may just be a statue and yes, it may originate from an era where this might have been seen as "acceptable." But it is so much more than that. This is a true problem, one women have faced for centuries. Because the truth of the matter is, most women feel like the Lady in Yellow far too often ... and it is not "acceptable." And the worst part? Some people still do not see this as a problem.
My brothers and I come from the same family, with the same genes, the same upbringing, the same culture, the same experiences. We all enjoy watching baseball, playing sports, hitting our favorite eateries, and traveling. We even share the same type of humor. However, my brothers could live the exact same life as me — every decision down to the same outcome — and still ... we would not have lived the same life.
My brothers, guy friends, father, boyfriend, uncle, or cousin will never know what it feels like to feel as though someone else has violated you simply with their eyes. They will never know the discomfort you feel when a stranger yells unmentionable things to you. They will never feel the need to take a shower to wash off the stench you feel enveloped in after a gross guy has ruined your night with only his words.
To them, getting gas at midnight is just refueling. To you, it is out of the question — the risk is too high.
They will never pull outfits from their closets considering which outfits are "safe to wear," as they should not draw more attention to yourself. They would never have to ask someone of the opposite sex to simply go somewhere with them to serve as their "protection." They would never feel constantly unsafe, living life where you expect the worst only to remain safe.
My brothers would never live this life.
But I do. And so do women across the world.
It is time we abolish the Fresno, CA statue. It is time we abolish the notion that women are less than men. We are people. We are sisters, daughters, and mothers. We are lawyers, surgeons, philanthropists, innovators, businesswomen, social workers, teachers, and more. We are the paramedic you are going to call when your life depends upon it. We are the CEO of a corporation who allowed you to have a job. We are the soldiers who put our lives on the line so you can live in a free world. We have names, personalities, tragedies, and ambitions.
We are not your object.
Continue to teach your sons what it means to treat a woman with respect. Speak out when your friends are the ones making girls feel this way. Take action when you see a wrong being committed. Help women help themselves regain control over their lives. I am proud to live in a country and era where women have abundant opportunities and more respect than once given. I am proud to be a strong, confident young woman who is not afraid to cease opportunities that were once never given to those women before her. But I am not proud of all of the progress that is yet to be.
For so long as we continue to have degrading, abusive men in this world, the further we are from living in a world where you can feel secure in your daughter's safety. My brothers may not know what it is like to walk in my shoes, to understand what girls everywhere experience, but they are the type of men who can help conquer this overlooked battle.
