Waiting Is Annoying, But Sometimes It's Necessary

Waiting Is Annoying, But Sometimes It's Necessary

I know you hate the wait, but what are you doing while you wait?
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Waiting in any capacity is annoying. Some waiting causes excitement like on Christmas Eve when you are waiting for the next day to open your presents. Or if you know something big is about to happen then you might be excited anticipating it. Some waiting causes anxiety. Like if your waiting for the cast list to be posted. Or for an acceptance letter. Or for the something new to happen in your life. We as people spend a lot of time waiting for things. Most of the things are small, like your food to arrive at a restaurant or for a new episode to come on the following week. But other things can cause you to lose sleep or lose your sanity (only briefly).

Waiting for things does not have to be a bad thing. It does not have to be looked at as negative all the time. This goes especially for when you are waiting for your life to begin. When we are young we in vision life. We see older people's lives or see fictional people on TV and plan ours according to what we liked or disliked about what we observed. I know I did. I had a plan that by this age I would be doing this and by that age I would have something different. But life looks at your plans and goes, "Aww that's cute. You tried to have control over your life." There are certain things in life you can't change or control, like the actions and feelings of other people, and those things influence what happens in your life. These things can delay your plans or even cause them to change. And then you are left waiting for the things you thought you would have by now to happen.

Maybe you thought you'd be in a relationship but that special person hasn't shown up yet. Maybe you thought you'd have a career but your opportunity hasn't presented itself yet. But just because you have to wait a little longer than others doesn't mean it's not going to happen at all. Waiting does not mean you aren't supposed to achieve your goals or that you are forced to stay exactly where you are. There can be a number of reasons why you don't have what you want yet. Maybe in your waiting, you aren't working towards it. Maybe you think it will just fall into your lap. That's not going to work. Or maybe you are not at a place in your life where you are ready for it. Maybe you need sometime to grow and mature so that when you get what you want you can handle it.

So sometimes waiting can be a good thing. It can prepare you and make you fully equipped to take on what you want, but you have to make sure that while you are waiting you do your part. Don't just sit on your couch and dream about a better life without doing anything about it. Sometimes being proactive can help to jump start the thing you've been waiting on to come into fruition. If you want to start dating, you can't stay in your house and wish up a boy/girlfriend. You have to go outside and meet people. You have to make yourself available and be open to new experiences.

If you want to live in a big house one day, you have to be serious about your career. The people with the big houses and fancy cars didn't wake up one day and have those things. Yes there are some people who are rich/famous for no reason at all (*coughs Kardashians*) but for most of the people who have nice things had to work really hard for those things. Plus hard work helps make you look at your accomplishments differently. You're more likely to value what you had to work for instead of the things you were handed.

So yeah, waiting it annoying and can be anxiety inducing but not all waiting is created equal. Some of it is good and will help you in the long run. So while you wait, focus on your goal and do everything in your power to help it to become your reality. That way your waiting will not have been in vain and when you get it you can appreciate it fully.

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

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BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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Becoming Kinder To Myself

My biggest bully is my own mind and I'm sick of being the victim.

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I've always known how important self-love is, but I've only recently realized the depths of what it means. For me, the hardest part about loving myself is the fact that I've been conditioned to hate myself. I say the meanest things in my head and constantly try to tear myself down. While I am confident in the person I am, I don't think I love myself in the way I need to.

It's 2019, and I've decided it's going to be the year of me. This year, I will fall in love with myself. I will stop thinking I am the problem. I will stop letting my worries get in my way. I am constantly motivating my friends and encouraging them to do whatever is necessary to make themselves happy.

So, why haven't I been doing that for me?

I show kindness to everyone I meet, but perhaps I am the one who needs my kindness the most. I'm never going to get what I want if I feel as though I don't deserve it. I'm never going to achieve my goals if I don't think I have the ability to do so.

I would never kick someone when they're down, so this year, I'm going to start applying that to myself. The negative thoughts will come and go, but it's time that I stop feeding them. I see myself negatively, and the only way that's going to change is if I fight it with a lot of positivity.

Self-love is more than being confident in your own skin; it's being kind to yourself and treating yourself right. I always feel like my mind controls me, but it's time to start controlling my mind. My mind is going to become a place of positivity and encouragement, and it all starts with simply replacing my thoughts that stem from hatred to thoughts that come from love.

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