At a conference that I attended at the start of the new year, one of the ideas mentioned was having a mindset of relaxed confidence when it comes to the future. I think that is what our dating culture in today’s society is missing.
The focus has shifted to a “relationship goals” extravagance instead of focusing on developing deep roots that will help our significant other to grow into the person they were meant to be. It’s all about the likes, the cute pictures, the popularity points of showing off your ‘partner in crime.’
You might be in the perfect relationship for you - it’s the right timing, it’s the right soulmate, it’s the aligning core values, and that’s great for you! But my bigger point is: DON’T RUSH and miss the benefits of your life now.
If you’re feeling beside yourself for being alone yet another Valentine’s Day, it’s time to change your mindset. I’d rather wait 10 years to find the right man than date the wrong man now. Why? Because I would be wasting my time.
This period of singleness is not to be unproductive.
In fact, it is the opposite. You’ll hear the cliché “it is time to work on yourself!” but this is indisputably true! What better time than to focus on your dreams, your goals, your profession, your spirituality and all of your other endeavors than now?
This is not selfish but only a phase of figuring out who you are and staying true to yourself. Be unapologetically yourself. Find your true passions. Accomplish your goals. Keep running your race and eventually, you’ll run into someone running at the same pace.
Don’t settle for a man running a mile behind or swerving in a different direction. Stand firm on your values, beliefs, and boundaries. It’s OK to be picky when it comes to finding your significant other.
Don’t continue to date the wrong man out of comfort and familiarity because you’ll forfeit the opportunity to run into the right one.
I’ll wait because I’d rather save myself for the perfect fit than a mediocre one.
I’ll wait because I am confidently doing me and I hope my future man is confidently pursuing his dreams. I’ll wait because 'character' will always out-win 'looks.'
You can save yourself from a roller coaster of emotions and possible heartbreak if you vow to not date flippantly. If you know in your gut that it is not meant to be, you may need to seriously consider your current relationship status. I promise you, by acknowledging that your relationship stems from the wrong purposes, you will not only be respecting your current partner but also yourself.
It's not always about how many likes you can get on the gram or by having a handsome man by your side or to talk to at all times. Maybe it's time to stop trying to impress and to start living with a relaxed confidence.
And someday, when you finally do meet the man of your dreams, I hope he will look at you and say "I am so thankful you waited for me." And that will make it all worth it.
