Vulnerability is one of the most powerful things that a human being can experience. According to Merriam-Webster, it is the state of being easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally or emotionally. It’s being open to attack, harm or damage. The definition of the word makes you question why anybody would ever subject themselves to it. Why not avoid the possible hurt altogether?
Throughout my life, I have realized why people are willing to be vulnerable and to share the most private, personal bits of their lives. When you open up to somebody and give them the power to hurt you, you also give them your utmost trust. And when those people keep your trust, you grow infinitely closer together.
Vulnerability is what connects us as human beings. Giving someone the ability to hurt you where it will truly have an impact is a terrifying thing to do, but the feeling that comes when those people don’t take advantage of that is so, so worth it.
One of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned throughout this past year is to let down my walls. I remember being in elementary school and having enough confidence that I didn’t care what others thought. I had no reason to distrust people and hadn’t been hurt by anyone yet. I had no walls up and because of this, was able to connect with my peers much more quickly.
As time went on, I grew up. I became less naïve, less trusting and more fearful of what I knew others could do to me. I got hurt for the first time and promised myself to do everything in my power to never let that happen again. I built my walls, one brick at a time until only a few select people were allowed in. And they were never allowed in all the way. I always had my secrets, my most personal story hidden deep within my walls.
I have since learned that you can also get hurt by not letting anybody in. Nobody hurts you, but by self-imposing loneliness, you hurt yourself. You know yourself better than anybody else does so when you inflict pain on yourself, it cuts deeper than if anybody else did. When you let people in, it becomes one of the most courageous things that you can do -- much more so than cutting yourself off and avoiding any chance of pain.
Vulnerability and trust are what humans need to survive emotionally and mentally. Connections and deep relationships are vital. It’s important to stay smart and not to give all of yourself away to everybody who comes along, but it is also important to know when to let people in. Relationships can only grow when trust is involved and you can only develop and become the person you were meant to be when you have people who know you that support you. It’s terrifying, but being vulnerable and letting others in on your deepest, darkest secrets are what can lead to the most meaningful relationships in your life. It’s what can make you braver, stronger and ultimately happier.
