"There's a saying, something about quarters and pennies. When you go through your day-to-day life you find and sometimes pick up a penny off the ground, not because of its value, just because it was there and everyone else does it. It's become a tradition based upon luck. Sometimes, when you are digging through your wallet or cup holder in your car, you find a quarter and you get so excited. Quarters are more interesting of a find because in that same wallet, that same cup holder, there are so many pennies already sitting there. That quarter is the same as 25 pennies but rarely do you ever see someone carry around 25 or 100 pennies. You will, however, find that people often times carry with them quarters. They have more meaning to them.
When you're a teenager it seems that everyone is obsessed with penny friends. 25 people to go to parties or hang out with all the time. Sure a few quarters or dimes are thrown in there but the real socially acceptable way of life is to show off just how many pennies you have. Quarters are great but they're harder to come by and it looks like there's more worth from the 25 penny friends you have as opposed to the 1 quarter friend you have. The thing is, you can get the same, even better effect of those pennies by one quarter. Now, penny friends are not, not your friends but they won't be as important to you later in life when you have already quickly spent a penny on some unnecessary things. You'll get knew penny friends, some might even turn into nickels or dimes. But it's better to have 4 quarters than 100 pennies. You can't carry that much baggage around."
I write a good bit. If someone looked through the notes app in my phone they would find paragraphs of unfinished stories or incomplete thoughts. I went through my own notes recently and found this piece that I had written between the summer of my junior and senior year. When you first enter college, it's so scary. For me, I wasn't scared about school or being on my own. It was always about finding a friend group. Growing up, I was oftentimes referred to as an introvert, and honestly, I hate that. The ideology of being an introvert or an extrovert is based on where one gains energy. It's not based on whether your loud or shy or social or staying in on weekends. The thing is, I love being around people. I love talking to my friends and if you asked any of my friends they will tell you how much I sing and pretend to dance in a cringey way.
In my third month of college, I discovered that I am picky about my friendships. For the first few weeks, I was miserable. I had a few genuine friends who I knew before but our schedules just didn't mash up. So I bounced around. I hung out with the party goers, I hung out with the "preppy" girls and other different friend groups. This isn't me bashing on anyone, in fact, I still hang out with everyone at times and truly love them. They just weren't "quarter friends", and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I know who I am and I know the people in my life I want to be surrounded with.Finding something I had written at sixteen was interesting because I am still facing the same things that stress me out now at eighteen. The only difference is that I am more confident in myself. My confidence has grown in areas some people wouldn't even think twice about. Simple things like going to The Fresh, alone, eating by the window and reading. I am able to acknowledge that it is my own choice to do that as well. I could easily find someone to eat with, an acquaintance or a friend from class, but sometimes I just want to read and eat. I'm not being anti-social and it's not my social anxiety getting the better of me. It's just me, being confident enough in my friendships.