I was scrolling through my Instagram feed the other day, looking at all of the posts from the various adventure and fitness accounts I follow. Like usual, I scrolled past breathtaking photography, home ab workout demonstrations, yoga poses and all things hippy. I stopped scrolling when I got to a post that really made me think. The picture said, “If you find someone you can have intellectually deep conversations with, hold on to that person, because the average mind is a disappointment.” For some reason, the concept of this picture didn’t resonate with me.
In a way, I like this quote because I can definitely relate to the excitement that comes with having an intellectual conversation or debate with someone. Give me someone who likes to talk about things like government conspiracy theories, planetary changes or baking fine French pastries, and I will talk for hours!
However, I realized that this quote is really saying that the idea of having a person who you can hold intellectually deep conversations with is a really important and valued thing to have in your life. It’s as if it’s saying don’t just hang around with this person every once in a while, but really hold on to them—they are worth so much.
What about the people you meet who you can’t have intellectually deep conversations with? Are they not worth having around or holding on to? Are they less intelligent based on this mere fact? Can we not learn anything from these people? And furthermore, are their minds a disappointment?
These are the questions that I asked myself while thinking about this quote and how it pertained to my own life. I thought of all the people in my life that I may rarely talk to, and if I do talk to them, our conversations may consist of more time laughing than actually speaking intellectually. I thought of all of the people in my life that have shown me valuable things like how to love, persevere and to put myself after others.
People like my grandpa come to mind. He didn’t talk much, and when he did, he might jokingly ask me if I had a boyfriend or if I could drive yet, even though I was about 11 at the time. In all our lazy days spent eating pistachios on the porch or talking with the neighbors in the living room, I had never heard him use complex words or have intellectually deep conversations with anyone. However, he and many others like him have taught me so much about what it is like to love others and live life with more meaning than meets the eye. These kind of endearing qualities make me think of the character of Forrest Gump. He was by no means able to hold intellectually deep conversions with anyone, unless it may be about cross country running or about the best places to find shrimp. His character did, however, exemplify a lot of attributes that most others in the movie couldn’t. He knew how to love and to be loyal to his friends and family. He knew how to let Jenny go when she didn’t love him, and he knew how to put the well-being of others before himself.
What I am getting at, is that each and every one of us has particular dreams, desires and interests. We naturally gravitate toward information that interest and intrigues us. Just because someone may not be able to hold up an “intellectually deep” conversation with you over coffee, at the bar or at the lunch table, doesn’t mean that their mind is lesser, let alone a disappointment. Maybe this person doesn’t know or care much about the candidates of the upcoming election. Does that make that person unintelligent? Does that make this person ignorant or unrelatable? What if her or she knows all about medieval woodworking, how to program a computer, or knows everything about the human metabolic system? You would never know this, unless you truly gave them the option of showing you.
In conclusion, go ahead and value intellect and those whose offer it. Value growth, academics and our human capabilities’ to learn, but never base someone’s sole worth upon their ability to hold an “intellectually deep” conversation with you. It's so incredibly important to also value things like laughter, love, patience and encouragement.
Here are some new quotes that I found that I liked better than the previous one:
If you find someone who makes you laugh until you cry—hold on to them.
If you find someone who is a good listener—hold on to them.
If you find someone who encourages you to fight for what you believe in—hold on to them.
If you find someone who accepts you for exactly who you are—hold on to them.
If you find anyone who teaches you anything, hold on to them—talk with them, laugh with them and love them. Every mind has something to offer, as long as you take the time recognize what it is.
The only disappointment would be a mind that doesn’t value every other mind.
