The Unspoken Truth About The Vicious Cycle Of Cheating
Start writing a post

The Unspoken Truth About The Vicious Cycle Of Cheating, And How The Played Becomes The Player

What does the person who was cheated on do to never get hurt again?

The Unspoken Truth About The Vicious Cycle Of Cheating, And How The Played Becomes The Player

First, let's talk about some reasons people cheat in relationships in the first place:

1. They have low self-esteem.

Are you feeling like you are not good enough? Do you feel like you are not attractive enough? Feeling as if you are not worth the love can lead to self-sabotage.

2. They're bored and want variety.

Things became boring in the bedroom? Did the conversations become boring? These are all things that can lead to a significant other looking for these types of entertainment from another.

3. They've fallen out of love.

Did you come to the realization that your partner was no longer the person that you wanted to spend your life with? This can lead a significant other into the arms of someone new.

4. They have the opportunity to.

Despite never thinking of cheating on your significant other, you have found yourself at a party and an incredibly attractive individual is coming onto you. This is one example of how an opportunity can arise, and it is not stopped.

5. They are angry and/or want revenge.

Has a previous partner cheated on you and left you wanting to hurt someone the same way? These are all negative feelings and experiences that can lead you to hurt somebody in the same way that you have been hurt.

6. They have commitment issues.

Are you still damaged from your previous ex? Have you been led to believe that you are not good enough? Have you been played/cheated on multiple times? These are all things that can lead to not trusting anyone enough to be loyal to them.

Now, let's talk about how being cheated on can actually lead to you being more likely to cheat on somebody.

This is not a discussion that has a simple answer, but one of the easiest ways to explain it is that every reason listed above gets projected onto the one who was played, often making them want to become the player.

Being cheated on not only leads to tremendous amounts of trust issues and self-worth doubts, but it can lead to the person who was cheated on feeling as if they do not deserve love. This is because they may ask themselves, "If I did deserve love, then why did they go for somebody else?"

The individual who was cheated on will no longer be willing to fall easily and will likely struggle with trust issues — as well as commitment issues — for a long time after being hurt.

What does all of this have to do with the played becoming the player?

All of these internal issues, as well as potential PTSD and/or trauma that was caused by either the relationship, the relationship ending, or both, can lead to the individual who was cheated on getting in the mindset that love is not real.

Giving your all to somebody just for them to rip it up, throw it away, and give the pieces to someone new can lead an individual to never want to experience that type of pain ever again.

So what do they do to make sure that it never happens? They cheat!

They cheat on whoever is next.

They do not do this because they want to hurt anybody, they do this because they have been shown the worst of a person, and they have seen all of their love go down the drain. This will make it incredibly hard for them to trust anybody ever in the way they trusted the one who cheated on them.

This is, of course, the case until they learn to find themselves again and can learn that one bad experience does not mean giving up on love and running away from people who give them any amount of love is how you should live your life.

This step is the hardest step to reach, but once you realize that hurting people in the way that you were hurt is not how you live a happy life, you can take steps forward.

P.S. This article does not condone cheating in any way, and being cheated on can lead to PTSD, trauma, and many other mental health issues. Cheating should never be an option, but this is the unspoken truth about the cycle that cheating does have.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Health and Wellness

7 Things Your Partner Can Do To Support You When You Have PCOS

Don't be afraid to ask for help or comfort if you need it.


Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) may not be totally visible to the eye, which makes it a lot harder for your partner to understand what's going on with your body.

If you are in a relationship, it's important that you communicate your PCOS symptoms with your partner. I say "your" symptoms specifically because everyone's symptoms are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Watched 'The Social Dilemma' And YIKES, I'm Terrified For The Next Generation's Mental Health

Millennials can remember a time without online social affirmation, but we may be the last ones.

The Social Dilemma / Netflix

I've been in a media job for the entirety of my professional career. From part-time social media internships to full-time editorial work, I've continued to learn how to tell stories, write catchy headlines, and keep people interested. I believe working in media is a big responsibility, as well as a valuable way to advance our world.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

One Indictment, Three Charges, And No Justice For Breonna Taylor

We can't settle for this decision or a system that is fundamentally broken and unequal.


On March 13, 26-year-old Breonna Taylor was fatally shot in her apartment by police who were executing a "no-knock" warrant. Since then, there have been rallying efforts both in the streets and on social media demanding justice for Taylor and keeping her name known.

Keep Reading... Show less

I was so excited to vote in my local primary election in August. I eagerly researched my local candidates, combed the newspaper for profiles and policy positions, and shared infographics on Insta about voting deadlines. I considered myself a keen voter.

Keep Reading... Show less

Nothing! There is no reason to feel guilty about food and nourishing your body. It's time to make peace with food and stop focusing on the "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong" because food does not have power over you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down With An Endocrinologist To Ask All My Questions About Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

There are so many moving parts of hormonal health, so I went to an expert.

Anjanette Tan

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is an autoimmune disease that impacts approximately 1 in 10 women. Any woman who has PCOS can attest to the fact that no two cases are the same — there are so many aspects of hormonal health that can impact a woman's reproductive health! For many, PCOS is a trial and error condition, with many doctors' appointments depending on the stage of life the woman is in.

This week I sat down with Dr. Anjanette Tan to get the expert opinion on all my PCOS questions. Dr. Tan is a board-certified endocrinologist who's worked in private practices since 2004. She currently works at the Diabetes and Thyroid Center of Fort Worth, one of the largest all-endocrine practices in the area, where she is the managing partner and head of clinical research.

Keep Reading... Show less

This $40 Silk Sleep Mask Gives Me The Best Sleep I've Ever Had — I Never Go Anywhere Without It

Crane And Canopy just redefined the meaning of "beauty sleep".


- Since I can remember, I've always been a light sleeper, with the quietest sounds waking me up, and I regularly wake up with the sun.

- While talking to a gynecologist friend of mine, she mentioned the importance of using an eye mask for quality sleep, which regulates hormonal levels.

- I was serendipitously sent the Crane & Canopy Silk Sleep Mask almost right after that conversation and was honestly reluctant to try it after testing other sleep masks that felt uncomfortable and irritated my skin.

- This sleep mask was extremely comfortable, and for the first time in nearly a decade, I slept in far past when I usually do on the weekends and woke up feeling more refreshed than I can remember — I've worn it nearly every night since then.

The older I get, it seems that sleep becomes an increasingly important topic of conversation amongst my friends and me. Yes, of course we complain about how tired we always are, but the pattern seemed to be a lack of sleep on the weekdays followed by late nights and sleeping in on the weekends without any solution.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Self-Care Kit Every College Student Should Have Handy In 2020

Make sure you have everything you need to relieve some tension.


As college students, sometimes life can be overwhelming. Four tests in a week and you only passed one of them? I feel that. Days like that, you just need time for yourself. A time where you're nice to yourself and put your own self-care before anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

The Smile Project Just Launched An Ambassador Program, And I Can't Wait To Get Started

Looking to shift your perspective, be happier, or just get involved in something truly amazing? Look no further.


The Smile Project is a nonprofit organization devoted to spreading happiness, founded by Elizabeth Buechele. It all started on a random day in the fall of her senior year. She was driving home from school when this thought crossed her mind: "Day 1: Happiness is…those perfect car rides where the radio just plays all the right songs."

Keep Reading... Show less

I'll never forget the day that someone told me these words: "Madison, I think you're a good friend to everyone but yourself." I stood there completely in awe of that statement. Before that day, I never really thought about being a friend to myself, and at the time, I didn't really know what it meant. Now, I realize that you can't fully be there for other people unless you're there for yourself, too. You can't show up for others until you're willing to show up for yourself.

Here are five things everyone should learn in order to be a better friend to themselves. These steps are hard, but they're so worth it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments