First, let's talk about some reasons people cheat in relationships in the first place:
1. They have low self-esteem.
Are you feeling like you are not good enough? Do you feel like you are not attractive enough? Feeling as if you are not worth the love can lead to self-sabotage.
2. They're bored and want variety.
Things became boring in the bedroom? Did the conversations become boring? These are all things that can lead to a significant other looking for these types of entertainment from another.
3. They've fallen out of love.
Did you come to the realization that your partner was no longer the person that you wanted to spend your life with? This can lead a significant other into the arms of someone new.
4. They have the opportunity to.
Despite never thinking of cheating on your significant other, you have found yourself at a party and an incredibly attractive individual is coming onto you. This is one example of how an opportunity can arise, and it is not stopped.
5. They are angry and/or want revenge.
Has a previous partner cheated on you and left you wanting to hurt someone the same way? These are all negative feelings and experiences that can lead you to hurt somebody in the same way that you have been hurt.
6. They have commitment issues.
Are you still damaged from your previous ex? Have you been led to believe that you are not good enough? Have you been played/cheated on multiple times? These are all things that can lead to not trusting anyone enough to be loyal to them.
Now, let's talk about how being cheated on can actually lead to you being more likely to cheat on somebody.
This is not a discussion that has a simple answer, but one of the easiest ways to explain it is that every reason listed above gets projected onto the one who was played, often making them want to become the player.
Being cheated on not only leads to tremendous amounts of trust issues and self-worth doubts, but it can lead to the person who was cheated on feeling as if they do not deserve love. This is because they may ask themselves, "If I did deserve love, then why did they go for somebody else?"
The individual who was cheated on will no longer be willing to fall easily and will likely struggle with trust issues — as well as commitment issues — for a long time after being hurt.
What does all of this have to do with the played becoming the player?
All of these internal issues, as well as potential PTSD and/or trauma that was caused by either the relationship, the relationship ending, or both, can lead to the individual who was cheated on getting in the mindset that love is not real.
Giving your all to somebody just for them to rip it up, throw it away, and give the pieces to someone new can lead an individual to never want to experience that type of pain ever again.
So what do they do to make sure that it never happens? They cheat!
They cheat on whoever is next.
They do not do this because they want to hurt anybody, they do this because they have been shown the worst of a person, and they have seen all of their love go down the drain. This will make it incredibly hard for them to trust anybody ever in the way they trusted the one who cheated on them.
This is, of course, the case until they learn to find themselves again and can learn that one bad experience does not mean giving up on love and running away from people who give them any amount of love is how you should live your life.
This step is the hardest step to reach, but once you realize that hurting people in the way that you were hurt is not how you live a happy life, you can take steps forward.
P.S. This article does not condone cheating in any way, and being cheated on can lead to PTSD, trauma, and many other mental health issues. Cheating should never be an option, but this is the unspoken truth about the cycle that cheating does have.
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