You typically hear the loved ones' side of the story when people discuss how addiction impacts lives. Addicts are called selfish and painted as societal trash. How many times have you actually looked at addiction through the eyes of an addict? Someone very close to me struggled with addiction for years and offered to tell their story. Throughout this article I will have quotes and chunks of their story; no names are mentioned, because they wished to stay anonymous.
"The biggest misconception from my family was thinking that I wanted to do drugs."
"Addiction isn't a decision, it just happens. When I'd steal from my family for the drugs, I couldn't even think about what I was doing. I knew in my heart it was wrong, but the drugs owned me."
Being an addict doesn't make someone selfish, weak, or a bad person. Most people succumb to addiction because they're going through a hard time. One temporary escape turns into years, or even a lifetime, of addiction that this person never intended. No one picks up their drug of choice and thinks, "Yep, today is the day that I am going to become an addict." No one picks up their drug of choice and says, "I fully intend to hurt those around me." That's not what addiction is.
"I never thought I'd get addicted."
"I just wanted to numb the pain. I started just smoking weed at age 14, and by 15 it was an everyday thing. Then by age 16 I had a cocaine and pill problem. When I realized it was a problem, it was already too late. My body and mind needed the drug; it was no longer about a high, it was the only way I could function. You want to change and do better, but, the sad reality is, you can't change until your pain outweighs your fear of being different."
If you asked an addict why they became an addict, and they gave you an honest response, they wouldn't say, "Doing [fill in addiction here] is fun." You would get a range of answers from, "I was looking for a temporary escape during a hard time," to, "The people closest to me were involved in [fill in addiction here]," and a number of responses in between. Sure, it may be something they associate with having a good time, but, typically, that isn't the only reason people succumb to addiction.
"Drugs turn addicts into their worst nightmare."
"I struggled with addiction for 8 years. By the age of 18, I had to move out of my parents' house, because they said rehab or leave. By 19-20, I house hopped, partied all the time, and stayed high. Once on my own, I thought I'd die before the age of 24. When I was 20, I got a DUI and a minor in possession; my parents were so ashamed. I, on the other hand, was so out there on drugs that I smiled in my mug shot. I was so numb all the time that the only feeling I knew was happy, not shame. I started using a different, more dangerous kind of drug. By age 20, I was smoking crack. I can remember getting so high that I passed out, and woke up in an ambulance with my heart beating 185 per minute; yet all I wanted to do was get high again."
Addiction affects everyone involved, including the addict. The addict isn't the hideous monster society likes to paint them as. They're human. They make mistakes. Yes, having a loved one who's addicted to something can be hard, but so is being an addict.
"The pain has to outweigh the fear."
"I stopped using when I got pregnant at 21, because I had something else to worry about that was more important than me. Despite this, soon after my son was born, I was using again. It took watching my son's father commit suicide to change me. If that tragedy wouldn't have happened, I don't know where I'd be. A lot of addicts never get clean, because the pain has to outweigh the fear."
This woman is such a strong-willed and hard-working person. She is the best mother she can be to her son, and I am so proud of everything she is doing in her life. Addiction is hard, but you can beat it. If you're living with someone who is an addict, remember they're not a monster. They have a monster taking over their life, and, even though they may not say it, they need your help.
The addiction is the problem, not the addict.
"Please don't feel sorry for me. I don't regret anything, because it made me who I am today, and I'm so thankful for that."
