People will probably disapprove of this article, but oh well.
We live in a society that says honesty is the best policy, yet always strays away from the truth. People are scared to be honest because feelings are overemphasized. Most people would rather lie to someone than be honest with them in order to spare their feelings. In reality, lying to someone will be detrimental in the long run.
My view on this can be seen as cruel. I don't care if I hurt other people's feelings through my honesty. People need to hear the truth. I hate it when people walk on eggshells around others in order to spare their feelings. Stop. Why are you avoiding the honesty in the first place? Because they can't "handle" it? Well lying to them isn't helping.
Personalization is a characteristic of those who can't handle the truth. Not every negative thing I say to you is an attack on you. Personalizing "insults" is a defense mechanism in order to save our identity from being harmed. What is so bad about our feelings being hurt? A key indicator that someone is personalizing an opinion is that they get defensive. Why do you feel the need to defend yourself from another person's thoughts?
On the same page, I find it funny when others ask for someone else's opinion. Do they actually want your opinion? No, they mostly want self-justification. The majority of the time, when an opinion is given, the other party gets hurt when it doesn't match their thoughts. You asked for my opinion and I gave it to you. Don't get defensive and don't feel attacked. Opinions are molded based on an individual's perceptions, not facts. I've had to start the habit of asking someone if they actually want my opinion. I find it so sad that I live in a society that makes opinions be seen as negative rather than neutral.
This extends to being "politically correct." There is a time and a place for this. In today's society, I feel that people focus too much on being politically correct that they stray from the truth. However, I think being politically correct is important when there is potential to be discriminatory.
Saying this, there is a way to handle being honest. Being blunt is different from attacking. Word choice, tone of voice and demeanor are all crucial when it comes to honesty. Though you might not approve of something another person is doing, that does not mean you can disrespect them. Honesty and respect should coincide rather than be seen as mutually exclusive.
If someone is hurt when they are told the truth (in a respectful way) then it is not the comment itself they have a problem with, it is themselves. In order to accept honesty, the person must be honest with themselves.
