Ah, Passover; the holiday that confuses everyone outside of the Jewish community. “Why do they force themselves to eat communion wafers for ten days, and do they actually believe that Elijah drinks the wine they leave out for him? Ridiculous. Who sets up food and drink for a ghost? At least their matzah ball soup is good," they think to themselves. “What is the real reason that that night is different from all other nights, and why won't anyone tell us what it is? Also, when they say that Moses split the red sea, is that just a euphemism for something?" Passover is a momentous holiday that procures many questions that only someone who skimmed a Wikipedia page on it can divulge. Seriously though, why do we eat matzah for eight days? It's not delicious (unless you put pounds of tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese on it) or nutritious and can lead to major constipation. But, I digress.

The Seder, the hours long dinner that commemorates the Israelite's exodus from Egypt, involves drinking four cups of wine. But why? Honestly, I don't know. But, what I do know is that it gives the perfect opportunity for a drinking game to make the seemingly never ending Seder less eternally long.

The Unofficial Passover Drinking Game:

One Sip

1. Someone forgets to wear a keepah
2. Your Haggadah has wine or food stains on the cover
3. You're sitting at the adult table
4. Someone who doesn't know how to read Hebrew reads the Haggadah in Hebrew.
5. “Matzah" is said.
6. Pharaoh doesn't let Moses' people go.
7. Someone starts a song and forgets how to finish it.
8. “Egypt" is said.
9. Someone asks to switch Haggadot with them because they don't like theirs.

Two Sips

1. When it's your turn to read out of the Haggadah.
2. The youngest child refuses to sing “Mah Nishtana."
3. The older children sing “Mah Nishtana" and everyone congratulates the youngest child on a good job even though they whisper-sang the whole time.
4. You're ineligible to find the afikomen.
5. Someone asks what page to go to.
6. Elijah flakes and doesn't show.
7. A baby cousin falls asleep at the table.

Finish Drink

1. A relative asks you if you're still single.
2. There aren't any more matzah balls.
3. The chicken is too dry.
4. You contemplate eating bread.
5. ISIS is brought up in conversation.