Being Understood By Your Parents When You Come Out Starts With You Also Being Understanding
Start writing a post

Being Understood By Your Parents When You Come Out Starts With You Also Being Understanding

The process of coming out can be hard for both the person coming out, and their family

Being Understood By Your Parents When You Come Out Starts With You Also Being Understanding

When I came out as bisexual, it didn't go very well. It was my junior year of high school, national coming out day rolled around, and I did it very impulsively. I texted my parents in a group chat, and they didn't take it well. The way that I chose to come out wasn't super conventional. Though it was my deal, and I should get to choose the route I am most comfortable with, I know that I didn't really set my parents up for success. It was impersonal, and it didn't go well with them, and I've learned to take some of the blame for that over time. It's not a fun memory for myself or my parents, and I think that if I had given them a chance and hadn't been so scared, the memory might have been a happier one.

Everyone's living situation is different; some people may not have a safe enough environment to be themselves in at any point in time. Maybe your identity is something you will keep safe and close to your heart, and that is okay. If you're like me, you want to put it out there and make sure that you're accepted and that everything is okay. I needed that acceptance from my parents and I really wasn't mature or ready enough to tell them, but the anxiety of not knowing how they would take it was overwhelming. I jumped the gun and I blamed them for the way they reacted to it for a long time.

It is important to understand your child and it is important to love them unconditionally. The sexual orientation of your child should not determine whether or not you love and respect them. The gender identity of your child should not determine whether or not you love and respect them. On the other hand, it is important to understand that for the parents that have grown up in a more sheltered universe, they might not handle it as well as you picture it. Every coming out story isn't gonna look exactly like "Love, Simon."

It's scary for a parent to hear that their child is a minority. It's scary to hear horror stories like Orlando and to imagine your child in that nightclub. They might not be able to understand why you can't just be like everyone else at first. I know that navigating my identity around my parents had been hard in the past. I tried not to talk about it for a long time, then I talked about it way too much, but now it's just a part of me and it doesn't really need to be talked about.

Last Christmas I came home from college and I expected a very normal winter break. I spent time with family and friends, and when it came time to open presents I didn't really expect a ton. Money had been tight, and there wasn't a huge budget for Christmas, but I wasn't terribly upset by it. The last gift that I opened was small but heavy. I took the lid off of the box, and I was surprised to see a mug with the words "Love is Love" written on it. My parents never knew that after I got that mug I went into my room and cried. I cried a lot. I felt the weight of a thousand bricks off of my shoulders, and I got the acceptance that 16-year-old Paige was aching for.

Sometimes you have to give your parents time to understand. You have to help them learn. Respect and patience on both sides of things is imperative, and you have to give things time to settle. In my case, it took 3 years to really feel settled in my own identity and with my parents. These things aren't easy at times, but you can't give up on the people you love.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments