Growing up, you dream of the day that your boyfriend asks for for your hand in marriage. My family is very traditional when it comes to marriage, so I definitely believe the guy should ask for permission. But what if your family doesn't approve of the guy? What if they won't be open to the idea of marriage? Usually, I believe that my mom knows best. Usually, she is right when she tells me a guy isn't good for me, but this time, she wasn't.
I fell in love at a young age (17 years old). He is three years older than I am, and my parents didn't like him from the beginning. He never had a chance when it came to my family, so I never brought him around. That was my fault. I should've brought him around. I shouldn't have been embarrassed of him, or my family, because I wanted both of them in my life. Not even being able to have both in the same room without awkward tension really put a damper on my relationship. He and I aren't together anymore; although I don't think this was our only issue, I do believe it was the start of our issues.
Most complain about their parents always asking their relationship status. I was sad that my parents didn't care to know about my relationship. My family always encourages the young ones to bring their significant other around so they can picture themselves in our family, but I never got that encouragement. If I was ever out with this guy, I always had an unnecessary amount of rules, yet, it was praised when my brother finally decided to ask a girl out.
My family had their minds made up about him before they really even met him. It's terrible to feel like you have to lie to your family just to see your boyfriend. It sucks knowing that if he and I one day decide get married, my family won't be supportive. My family only saw the bad in him, but to me, his great qualities outweighed the bad. He makes me happy. I never asked my family to like him; I just wanted them to respect my choices.
My mom was so happy the day I moved to college. She couldn't wait for me to have some separation from him. Little did she know, I drove home every weekend to be with him. He came down to Statesboro on holidays to be with me. We made long distance work. Now, she is so happy to see me going out with new guys to formals and date nights, but he is still the one I wish I was with.
At the end of the day, you can't live to please your family. You have to be happy, too. One day your parents won't be around, and you'll want to be with the person who makes your heart the happiest. If your family has a hard time seeing what you see in someone, you need to bring them around more often. It's awkward and it sucks, but it's worth it.
I wish I wouldn't have been so ashamed of my family, and my relationship. I wish I could have been more open with my family about my relationship, and with my guy about my family. Your guy might not be the ideal match in the eyes of your parents, but if they knew how much he makes you happy, they would love him, too. They might not love him for who he is, but they will love him for the smile he puts on your face. I have never known someone who can make me smile like he does, and one day I hope to show my family that.