So everyone has anxiety at some point in their lives and for most it is a fairly pressing feeling throughout their weekly routine. However, for some it can consume them and it may even be a diagnosed condition. I have had many friends who have anxiety with varying ranges of severity but every single one of them has taught me something about myself and about how to help and understand a friend who has anxiety.
To start I want to make one thing clear, a person may not be able to control their anxiety. This is SO important. The anxiety a person feels in their everyday lives is usually caused by big upcoming decisions and events and that is completely normal. Anxiety is actually a way to help the body deal with imminent danger and with the process of decision making. However, the actual cause of anxiety in it’s most severe state is not concretely known. It is assumed that it is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, similar to the ways in which depression is caused. This means that a person suffering from severe anxiety truly cannot control their feelings of anxiety in almost any capacity. Remember this always. Anxiety isn’t fun, anyone who has suffered, even from minor anxiety, can tell you that. It isn’t a ploy for attention and it certainly isn’t for sympathy, so never write someone off because that is what you assume to be happening, 99% of the time you’ll be wrong.
I can also tell you that your support means everything! Sometimes it can be hard to stick by a person who has anxiety. It can be taxing on you as their friend but staying by their side is so important. Sometimes a person with anxiety may dwell on a decision or event for longer than the average person, they may over think, they may double, triple, and even quadruple check things or they may ask repeated questions for validation. Remember those are all things that they can’t control. They may even understand that they are asking the same question too many times but because it’s out of their control it will continue. Help them talk it through, sometimes that’s all it takes. I understand that being around these things on a daily basis can get frustrating but please don’t step out of your friends life. They may need you and your support. It takes some strength but don’t bail on them. You could be a figure that really helps them and changes their life.
Lastly, remember that a person's anxiety does not define them. It is a part of who they are but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Love them for everything that they are which includes their anxiety. One of my best friends has anxiety, it was actually her idea for me to write this article because she knows that she is sometimes misunderstood because of her anxiety. That is what needs to change. A person should not ever feel as though they are unheard or written off especially because of their anxiety. Be accepting and love the heck out of your friend who just so happens to have anxiety.
