There are obvious lessons that every kid learns at some point in their life. Whether it’s through an experience, or with what their parents had to tell them, some of these lessons are lessons we don’t ever truly understand to its fullest. The lessons I am talking about are many lessons in one, such as: "don’t judge", "try to live in ‘their shoes’," and "there are two sides to every story." Sometimes when we are in a bad mood, are jealous of someone, or mad at a friend, we tend to disregard others feelings and not understand the situation others are in.
What people might not understand is that having these thoughts can lead to a negative life and can also affect others feelings, your relationship with others, and your own self-esteem.
I had experienced the importance of understanding others this past year. For example, I started dating a boy and we spent a lot of time just hanging out in his dorm, just watching TV, or going on silly walks through the park and it seemed like we really just did nothing together. One of my friends told me that she thought it was very high school of us to do that and that since we are adults now we should be going on dates and treating it like an adult relationship. I know she didn’t mean any harm by it and was just trying to help, but it hurt my feelings a bit and I knew she just didn’t understand because she wasn’t in my position. Later on in the year she got a boyfriend too and told me she totally understands what I meant when I told her that it’s fun just doing nothing and we both appreciated being able to do that and still have a good time. She apologized for judging me on this, but I am glad that this happened because it is what brought this thought to my attention.
Recently, I have been thinking about it more as I have been having anxious thoughts and have talked to a therapist about my anxiety. When I was younger and had friends who would tell me about how they are having anxiety about something simple, I would quietly get annoyed because I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. Now that I am experiencing these thoughts and feelings, I look back and wish I was more understanding of how serious it is, but now that I know, I can be more helpful and relatable to the people around me who need a few minutes to breathe.
Now when I look at people in my classes, at work, or just walking down the streets and I find myself starting to judge them, I try to think about their situation. Maybe they don’t have a lot of money, maybe they are having family problems, or maybe they just need a friend to help them in this part of their life.
If one of my friends is mad at me or another person, I try to imagine what they’re feeling and what the other side is feeling. It could be really difficult for them to understand because they haven't lived long enough to have and understand certain experiences, and that’s okay. I mean, really, nobody will.
In college, you’re going to meet a variety of people; especially judgmental ones, and that is totally normal. People are going to be competing for boys, girls, grades, and attention, and sometimes you’re going to want to fight for what you want. You’re going to want to find yourself and find a style that suits you but doesn't put anybody else's style down. Just find your friends and accept the others for how they are.
I guess what I am trying to say here is, judging others is something we all do and will always do as it’s part of human nature. As we tell someone not to judge, technically we are still judging them for judging others, so there really is no right answer, but try to be understanding of the other walks of life people have chosen because you could definitely learn from anybody and everybody and I bet those people will appreciate you for that.
