Dear Misinformed Person(s),
I am an individual living with chronic Crohn’s disease. Has it ever occurred to you…have you ever truly considered that I may not be the only person in your life who lives with such a disease? Whether you may be informed of the other's situation or not, odds are, I am not the only one. These types of illnesses are often misinterpreted due to the restriction of information being provided by that of the media who tend to leave out or even twist important information into something considered to be known as “T.V. worthy.” This can cause much confusion between those who have known knowledge of these diseases and those who are misled, falling victim to the ignorance of today’s society. With a highly alarming rate of people developing such rare and genetic illnesses today, I would hope many of you would want to take the time to truly sit down, learn and try to find a way to understand more about them. About the people who have fallen victim to them (as some of you like to claim). However, it does not surprise me one bit to see that most of you don’t truly give a fuck at all.
I may have an IBD, but that does not stop me from doing what I need to do in terms of schooling and establishing a career (a future) for myself. I may not be the best student, but I’m sure as hell a damn good one. If you can only see the flaws that my disease has left me with, then I can tell you now, you definitely aren’t trying to see the positivity that can still come out of it. If you can’t “see” the flaws that have developed along with the disease, that does not mean that they aren’t there, it just means you’re looking for the typical “characteristics” that we’ve been taught to go along with the so-called word of being “sick.” Your interest in the negativity is all you see which clouds your opportunity in gaining the ability to understand my/our side of things. To you, my illness is seen as nothing more than a figment of my imagination. Invisible.
Just for the next time you meet someone who has a similar sickness like myself, and yes I said sickness, I’m going to give you a few suggestions on what not to say:
1. “You don’t look sick”
NEWSFLASH!!! Not everyone “looks” like what might be happening to them. Not all illnesses can be seen outwardly.
2. “It’s all in your head”
Often at times when people don’t look physically sick we automatically assume that it’s mental. Listen here people…if someone you know has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, but don’t physically look sick, that doesn’t mean they have gone mentally unstable! Like seriously?!
3. “It must be nice not having to always work/go to school”
I’m sure if you’re looking from the outside in, this could be something completely and utterly exciting for those who just want to take a break from work/school and do whatever, however, for those with chronic illnesses, it can often mean losing their job/getting left back. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
4. “But I get stomach aches/pains/cramps too…They aren’t that bad”
I’m sure you do, but do your cramps/pains/aches send you to the hospital way too often for you to count on both your hands and toes? I don’t think so…Everyone goes through their share of pain, but it isn’t a competition!
And last, but not least. My favorite one…
5. “At least it’s not cancer”
…I utterly have no words for this one at all. Of course, it isn’t cancer, but this is something you just don’t say to people with a chronic disease.
And now that you’ve got some helpful tips, please do try to refrain from asking any other questions that might meet the same negativity as the top 5 on my list. Go educate yourself, it will help you in the long run.
Signed,
Invisible Illness Survivors Everywhere
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