Classic novels are timeless, they say. They present themes that are still applicable in today's society. My question is, who are they and why are some of these classics so messed up? I mean, can anyone actually understand what they are saying in "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" or is it just me? I'd personally like to thank SparkNotes for getting me through that one in high school. Some of it could just be the language and standards of the time period, but regardless, parts of these stories are just plain odd. Though strange, I've been able to learn some unique advice from these timeless treasures. Here are the real lessons I learned from some of the classics.
1. "Romeo and Juliet"
If you plan on faking your death to run away with your 13-year-old lover (which I do not condone in any way shape or form), maybe you should share this plan directly with said lover so, I don't know, there's no mix-up and you both don't end up dead. Just a thought.
2. "The Lord of the Flies"
Avoid ending up on an uninhabited island and putting a pig head on a stick. It's weird, it's wrong, and it's 100 percent not OK on any level. PETA is going to come after you. Just don't do it.
3. "Animal Farm"
Don't let pigs run the government. Also, even if you work hard, you still might get sent to the glue factory. RIP Boxer. You were literally the only sane character in that entire book.
4. "Macbeth"
If you want to avoid having a nervous breakdown and constantly seeing blood on your hands, you should probably avoid killing people in cold blood (pun intended). Also, don't get married to a woman that's crazy and bloodthirsty. That's right, I'm looking at you Lady Macbeth. I apologize for the creepy picture of a hand.
5. "The Odyssey"
If it takes you 20 years to get home and your wife still waits for you, you're the luckiest man alive. Granted, 10 years of that was the Trojan War, but still. You think he would be in a hurry to get home after being at war for that long.
6. "The Tragedy of Julius Caesar"
Choose your friends wisely because you never know who might literally stab you in the back. On the flip side, don't literally stab your friends in the back. It is just super rude.
While the main themes of these timeless classics still apply, I do enjoy the additional life lesson sprinkled in that I probably would not have learned otherwise. It is good to see literary characters make obvious mistakes and remind us that we are all human. So if you are ever having a bad day, just remember that as long as you avoid some of these pitfalls, you are already doing better than a lot of these characters.
