FIRST of all, if you haven't heard of or watched "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" on Netflix then let me be the first to tell you, You. Are. Missing. Out. This is the perfect light-hearted, binge-worthy, Netflix original that is perfect for summer. Oh, and did I also mention it's hilarious? I should've led with that because you will literally LOL. Kimmy Schmidt has been locked underground in a bunker for the last 15 years and suddenly she has to survive the brutal streets of New York- something not many 'normal' people could do anyway. However, despite being locked away for half of her life, Kimmy still throws some one-liners that are completely relatable.
Here are 10 quotes from "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" that you can relate to - even if you've lived above ground your entire life.
1. "What in the ham sandwich?"
Sometimes in life there are things that are so utterly ridiculous, normal profane phrases just don't do the ridiculousness justice. So, you gotta throw your own ridiculous phrase in there instead, see exhibit A above.
2. "Am I the only person in this city who doesn't just do whatevs whenevs? Fudge it to heck, where a demon with a thousand wee-wees fudges it forever!"
Like I said, New York is tough and sometimes you just gotta question if there's actually anyone on your side. If not, well...
3. "You bitch!" "A female dog? The thing that makes puppies? Nice compliment!"
Being called a bitch really isn't an insult anymore.
4. "2090 called. You're dead and you wasted your time on Earth."
Yikes. This one is too real. This quote suddenly reminded me of never accomplishing anything in my life and wasting my time. Let's move on to the next one.
5. "I thought you knew that when we met at that animal rights 5K." "Oh, I thought that was so animals could marry each other."
TBH in today's society, it can get hard keeping up with all the activism.
6. "Some things are just wrong, like kissing a married person or tracing something and saying you drew it."
Preach, Kimmy. It's literally the worst when people take credit for other's work. Dude, we can all tell you're bragging/LYING.
And home-wrecking is bad too, of course.
7. "Ugh, not the DMV. That place is the worst, based on my knowledge of 90s stand-up comedy."
Alright. full-disclosure, who actually spends enough time at the DMV to know how much it sucks? I only know (assume) this because people have been making jokes about it since I've been born.
8. "Well, I'm just so happy for you...kulele music."
Dang, Kimmy is just as fake as the rest of us.
9. "Hey! Do you want to part with us? Are you into molly?" "Am I? She's my favorite American Girl doll."
Sometimes just saying 'no' can be hard in college. Might as well come up with a creative excuse.
10. "Titus, dancing is about butts now."
I mean, shes's not wrong. I could go on this long rant about this generation and their lack of class but, eh, to each their own.
And a bonus inspirational quote to end things...
"We're just covering up our problems. In order to fix ourselves, we have to start right here. Find that small unbreakable YOU inside yourself."
So true Kimmy Schmidt, so true. And remember, as spoken in their opening sequence - females are strong as hell!
