Saint Valentine's Day, believe it or not, is quickly approaching this year. I mean, literally, New Year's Day was three to four weeks ago. February 14th—basically the romantic rendition of Christmas Day. Perhaps if you changed Santa cookies with chocolate and Valentine's Day cards, you'll get the difference. The latest trend nowadays is social media and public display of affection!
Here's an example:
[insert mushy photo of a couple with chocolates and teddy bears]
[insert corny, cheesy caption about your bae]
I'm itching as I write. Just the thought of public display of affection on Valentine's Day makes me itch and cringe. I'm sorry if I happen to seem bitter about Valentine's Day—actually, I'm not sorry, sorry. I'm lonely, I have no significant other to call my own, no matter how hard I search for one. Most relationships I've been in were long-distance, temporary, or in my fantasies. To this day, I consider myself married to Rihanna, with Gabrielle Union as my side chick or sugar-mama.
One thing I truly love more than anything else in the world is music. I replace the traditional card trading and cavity-filled treats every February with a custom "Love Stinks" playlist I relate to.
Are any of you in the same boat? How many of you out there are single, lonely, fresh out of a break-up, or somewhat bad at love? Either way, this playlist of songs was made just for you. I call it: "The Ultimate Anti-Valentine's Day Playlist"
1. The J. Geils Band - "Love Stinks"
I'm pretty sure this is the anthem for all love-haters. It would be a crime not to put this first, am I right?
2. Lizzo - "Truth Hurts"
You need empowerment. Shout out to those independent women out there who don't need a man.
3. Robyn - "Dancing On My Own"
Let's think hypothetically here: would you want to see your ex, clearly someone you still love, dancing with someone new? As much as it hurts, don't let it steal your happiness.
4. Adam Sandler - "Somebody Kill Me"
Straight from the 1998 film "The Wedding Singer," this basically sums up most of our anger after a break-up.
5. Lana Del Rey - "Summertime Sadness"
Lana Del Rey's a good go-to artist for lonely hearts.
6. Drake - "Marvins Room"
Hypothetical: you call your ex on Valentine's Day, maybe after a couple drinks, bitter about his or her new relationship.
7. Ashlee Simpson - "L.O.V.E."
Use this time of the month to turn up with your friends, at least you have love from them.
8. Maroon 5 - "This Love"
I sing this in the shower every February, no lie.
9. Brandy - "What About Us?"
When your Valentine is actually trash, so you finally let him or her loose.
10. Jazmine Sullivan - "Bust Your Windows"
Revenge is a dish best served by Jazmine Sullivan. All of her songs are basically "Anti-Valentine" material, but this is the big deal.
11. Blu Cantrell - "Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!)"
Make Valentine's Day about you. Get your revenge the best way.
12. Alanis Morrisette - "You Oughta Know"
Bad relationships definitely can take a toll on you.
13. Carrie Underwood - "Before He Cheats"
Probably the only country song out there right now that can easily relate to us love-haters.
14. Sam Smith - "Stay With Me"
Well, this song relates, too.
15. Jhené Aiko - "The Worst"
We can be in denial...
16. Natasha Bedingfield - "Single"
...and accept what we are as well...
17. Janet Jackson - "I Get Lonely"
...and feel loneliness, too...
18. Usher - "U Don't Have to Call"
...and still be alright.
19. Fleetwood Mac - "Go Your Own Way"
Fleetwood Mac's entire Rumors is definitely a go-to album for heartbreak, anger, or empowerment.
20. Alicia Keys - "How Come You Don't Call Me"
When your lover neglects you on Valentine's Day, and you're all alone.
21. Beyoncé - "Me, Myself and I"
Regardless of how someone treats you, you know your worth.
22. Aly & AJ - "Potential Breakup Song"
Spending your Valentine's Day breaking up with your bae.
23. Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together"
Sinking in your regrets? Perhaps it's Valentine's Day and you want someone back. That's deep.
24. Nazareth - "Love Hurts"
Sometimes love can be an overrated, painful thing to handle, especially on this time of the year.
25. Miley Cyrus - "7 Things"
Here's a Valentine's Day gift idea: 7 things you hate the most about your ex.
26. Kelis - "Caught Out There"
She mentions Valentine's Day in the song, but when you're fed up with your lover's B.S., everyone has a breaking point.
27. No Doubt - "Don't Speak"
No words. Just listen.
28. Adele - "Someone Like You"
An Anti-Valentine's Day playlist wouldn't be an Anti-Valentine's Day playlist without an Adele song.
29. Amy Winehouse - "Love Is A Losing Game"
Love is a game, and if you don't play it right, you lose.
30. Toni Braxton - "Un-Break My Heart"
Post-break-up song potential. Yes.
31. Eamon - "F*ck It (I Don't Want You Back)"
Profane at best. When someone does you wrong, just cut them off. Happy Valentine's Day.
32. Camila Cabello - "Crying in the Club"
Here's a little motivation. Use this song as an opportunity to set yourself free. You don't need him (or her).
33. Beyoncé - "Irreplaceable"
You can easily replace your ex. Just let that sink for a second.
34. Bruno Mars - "Grenade"
That ungrateful piece of trash wouldn't do what you do for them, so is it really worth the chocolate and cards?
35. Rixton - "Me And My Broken Heart"
Love ain't shit, but there's nothing wrong with a little bit of company.
36. Shontelle - "Impossible"
How can you move on from the heartbreak?
37. TLC - "No Scrubs"
38. Tina Turner - "What's Love Got To Do With It"
Perhaps you're one of those people who aren't interested in relationships. Maybe it's just a simple physical attraction.
39. Michael Jackson - "She's Out Of My Life"
For the guys out there, there's nothing wrong with grieving.
40. Boyz II Men - "End Of The Road"
I think I saved the best for last.
Here's the complete Spotify playlist, created by me. It should come in handy in a few weeks. Enjoy!