1. “I am not going to show anyone/ I swear I will delete it"
Ladies, does your man like math? Even if he does like math, how many calculator apps does he really need on his phone? Shouldn’t one suffice? -In case you are not catching my drift, your nudes are being saved forever on a fun little app that typically looks like a calculator. Just yesterday my friend asked me if I wanted to see his “fun-buddy’s” boobs. He then told me they were great and everyone he shows them to agrees...
2. “I don’t watch that much porn”
We all know that when we are not around, our men hang out with Jill. Jill is a nice girl, but she typically needs some assistance, such as a lovely little movie to get the job done. Girls, be understanding of his relationship with Jill, honestly she makes our lives easier. (If you do not know who Jill is, look at your right hand and see what name your fingers naturally spell out)
3. “You are the most incredible person in the world”
There are 7 billion people in this world. You are not that great.
4. "You are so sexy when you are angry”
This may be one of the smartest lie men have come up with. Instead of apologizing, they seduce you? Genius. The fact that girls allow this lie to work because they actually believe that they became that much hotter due to their anger is hilarious. I applaud the men that get away with this lie.
5. "No, you do not look fat”
If they have seen you naked, they already know if you are fat. Before you even asked that question they already knew the answer. You are begging for anything but the truth here, so expect him to lie, throw a Twix in his mouth, or go temporarily blind in this situation.
6. “I want to do whatever you want to do”
I like this lie; this is a lie of a man on a mission or a man with a heart.He does not want to do whatever you want. If he wants you that bad, he will be willing to do whatever you want, but best believe he is not enjoying it. But if he is willing to do whatever ridiculous girly things you ask of him… God bless him, give him what he wants, woman.
7. "I have to wear extra large condoms (wink wink)”
Oh do you?? This is my favorite lie because it’s a catch 22 for the guy.The second he says this, I am now either a bit scared of the python he has living in his pants or I am expecting a python but in reality its a garden snake. I’ll be sure to have a ruler on hand to explain why I am confused and disappointed in the case of a garden snake. The average guy that says this usually has less “snake” in his pants and more in his personality.
So boys, long story short, there are a handful of smart girls out there... and we are onto you.
