Seven Types Of Students At Zoom University
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Student Life

Seven Types Of Students At Zoom University

Which one are you?

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Seven Types Of Students At Zoom University

Since my spring semester of college was moved online because of the global pandemic and my summer classes, it's safe to say I've had a lot of experience with Zoom University. Within this complex jungle, there's a lot of species. Let's take a look!

The Overachiever

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This person is a professor's dream. (And mine too.) They help the professor with technical difficulties, have listened to the lectures beforehand and did today and tomorrow's readings, including the optional ones. They're on the Zoom call 10 minutes before class. They're organized and methodical, and they're not afraid to say so. If this is you, teach me your secrets.

The Coffee Addict

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This person seems normal at first. But, in the corner of their screen, what's that you see? The biggest cup of coffee in existence. Yes. They drink at least 2 cups in the meeting and guzzle it like water. If this is you, are you okay?

The 'Technical Difficulties' Person

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This person never has their camera on, even when the professor asks them to. Their audio is always cutting out, their screen is freezing and they randomly get kicked out of the meetings. Since over 12 million people are using Zoom every day, there are bound to be kinks to work out.

The 'Disappearing Act'​

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Not to be confused with #3 who genuinely has technical difficulties because there's a huge disparity in technology access, the disappearing act exploits the digital divide. These are the people that have full access to technology and don't use it because they're lazy. These are the people who conveniently cut out frequently when it's their turn to speak or contribute. These are also the people that don't join breakout rooms for group work, so you're stuck awkwardly by yourself. If this is you, yikes.

The 'Chatty' One

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This person forgets to mute themselves ALL THE TIME and is having full-on conversations with the people around them. Or they're blasting Roddy Ricch unmuted and the professor has to kick them out because they won't shut up. (True story.) If this is you, remember to mute!

The Troll

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This is a person that says whatever they want, despite it most likely being completely illogical or offensive. They take advantage of the fact that there's no classroom and that they're a tiny box on a screen to show off their shitty opinions. They say things like "I hate Mormons" or "I don't like Muslims who are in politics," in a theology class. (Another true story.) Disgusting. I'm hoping that no one is #6.

The 'Nervous' One

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Since there's no way to know when someone else is talking on Zoom, this person is super nervous to talk over someone else. So, they have a lot of false starts or filler words. (This is me.) But, it's okay as long as you get your opinion out there!

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